Gods yes there is a way to go out and enjoy the mortified faces of the people you pass at the market aisles. Go out and find a shirt that has the phrase "You Made Baby Hitler Cry!" with a picture of a baby like Hitler holding a teddy bear and shedding a tear and wear it out for kicks. Old ladies will look upon you with icy stares of cold death wishing they were 50 years younger so they could kick your punk ass.
Shameless promotion post? Why yes ... yes it is.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Racism or Opportunity
Let's take a moment to go back to the previous post and expand a little on the idea of racism a little bit and some of what it is and what people do. Obviously Racism is one person or persons who hate an entire group of people based on racial qualities such as skin color, eyes, or what have you. The KKK is a perfect example of such a thing as it's pretty damn close to an example that I can think of. There's also the World War 2 Nazis and their idea of white power but the fact they never ever started out that way give me cause to call them progressive racists [i.e. they were normal people manipulated by their leader into becomming what they did].
Now I'm in the belief that racism in this day and age isn't alright, we're a growing world economy, world relationships and all that jazz and the rest of the world could potentially be at your doorstep. I don't care about how other people feel about racism, it's just my take on it really as I'd rather not have the Chinese Mafia in my kitchen at breakfast time. That's just bloody awkward.
But I believe that some people take the idea of racism too far and apply it to where they can benefit from it. I'm talking about the working world where people can apply for jobs they can't do, not get hired, then take a business to court because of "Racial Profiling". I believe that to just be unfair to people who actually went to school to get that particular job only to have it ripped away because some bastard that has no idea what the job is thinks he can get money out of the situation for "Racial Profiling". Now I'm not saying that this kind of thing doesn't happen once in a while where some one will decide that some race of people do this kind of thing most often so they discriminate against them but when someone honestly CAN'T do the the job that they're applying for I believe it's within ALL legal rights to decline to hire them. Don't go out and take away someone's job simply because you can't do it, go to school and get the skills needed to take someone's job away because you're better at it then they are.
On a similar train of thought I'd like to say that all the people that [in seriousness not joking as I've met many people who do this jokingly] say that "It's because I'm black [Japanese, Chinese, whatever] isn't it?" whenever a comment is made that they don't like ... get a g'damn sense of humor. Not everything has to be racist unless you make it and it you make it that way then of course we're not going to like you because you're being an ass. Many times have there been people who've called me a racist only to have me prove them wrong time and again. I've had the opportunity to know several cool people that were from all sorts of places, be they black, Chinese, Swiss, and so on and so forth and to the people I don't like I have to say that I dislike you for the lack of respect you've shown me. My own little guage goes like this:
If we both show respect to each other we're cool, no problems. If you don't show respect to me then hey that's not my fault and I don't have to respect you back because there's no point.
It's simple and it works on individual people, not a group, so each reaction is different for each person depending on the degree of respect. So next time you call me a racist be prepared to have yourself labeled as one instead.
Now I'm in the belief that racism in this day and age isn't alright, we're a growing world economy, world relationships and all that jazz and the rest of the world could potentially be at your doorstep. I don't care about how other people feel about racism, it's just my take on it really as I'd rather not have the Chinese Mafia in my kitchen at breakfast time. That's just bloody awkward.
But I believe that some people take the idea of racism too far and apply it to where they can benefit from it. I'm talking about the working world where people can apply for jobs they can't do, not get hired, then take a business to court because of "Racial Profiling". I believe that to just be unfair to people who actually went to school to get that particular job only to have it ripped away because some bastard that has no idea what the job is thinks he can get money out of the situation for "Racial Profiling". Now I'm not saying that this kind of thing doesn't happen once in a while where some one will decide that some race of people do this kind of thing most often so they discriminate against them but when someone honestly CAN'T do the the job that they're applying for I believe it's within ALL legal rights to decline to hire them. Don't go out and take away someone's job simply because you can't do it, go to school and get the skills needed to take someone's job away because you're better at it then they are.
On a similar train of thought I'd like to say that all the people that [in seriousness not joking as I've met many people who do this jokingly] say that "It's because I'm black [Japanese, Chinese, whatever] isn't it?" whenever a comment is made that they don't like ... get a g'damn sense of humor. Not everything has to be racist unless you make it and it you make it that way then of course we're not going to like you because you're being an ass. Many times have there been people who've called me a racist only to have me prove them wrong time and again. I've had the opportunity to know several cool people that were from all sorts of places, be they black, Chinese, Swiss, and so on and so forth and to the people I don't like I have to say that I dislike you for the lack of respect you've shown me. My own little guage goes like this:
If we both show respect to each other we're cool, no problems. If you don't show respect to me then hey that's not my fault and I don't have to respect you back because there's no point.
It's simple and it works on individual people, not a group, so each reaction is different for each person depending on the degree of respect. So next time you call me a racist be prepared to have yourself labeled as one instead.
Yelling From the Mountain Top: Tolerance and Ignorance
Those that know me know the way I feel about other people and their beliefs. For those that may read this and don't here is the basic summary, I don't care what you believe in, I don't care what you do do in your spare time, I don't even how you practice either of the above, so long as you are not trying to force it down my throat.
To me this seems very simple and practical, some may call this a position of ignorance. That I am refusing to look at anything that doesn't affect me, but the fact is that I take this attitude because to me it is a position of tolerance. For the record I would like to state that in many senses of the word I am a racist (aside from the fact I am in fact white, see Urban Dictionary). I do not however feel any particular need to respect a person of any given ethnicity anymore than a person of any other ethnicity. I am a firm believer in personal merit and personal responsibility. (More on those later)
I am not perfect by even the most delusion, sanity depraved imaginings of the concept, even using regular human behavior as a standard, I come no where close (First class ticket to Hell bought and paid for). So basically who the fuck am I to judge what other people do with themselves.
I personally do no believe in any form of religion or worship. I include all forms because I may miss a few if I get too specific and I would hate to leave anyone out. I have nothing against faith, hope and all those other qualities that religions generally seek to inspire (and in a few isolated incidents they actually come close) but organized religion is crap in my opinion, and any really good intentions have long since been lost to the course of time in the storm battered ocean of human nature. But enough of that, this is another rant in and of itself.
Then there is sex. I am a firm believer in the theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics and in that theme I also believe that whatever a person may want to do with themselves (or other consenting individuals) in their own space and time is entirely their own damn business. Who am I to judge or dictate how a person conducts themselves in private (used in it's loosest meaning here). Who are we as a group to judge anyone in such a manner. This is of course excluding illegal acts as they are most likely violating the primary rule of forcing one's beliefs or practices on another. If I have to explain what sort of things qualify then you deserve to be smacked brutally around a cave with a baseball bat made out of frozen hate.
Back to the subject of racism. The idea of racism is the idea of hating another person based on their race (Shocking revelation I know). To me this is all well and good but in this day and age it is more a rationalization (and a lame one at that) more than anything, to the point it is impossible to make even the most accurate observations without being labeled a racist. If you are still reading at this point then you either; understand where I am coming from or have your email windows open and are getting ready to start flooding me with emails will never read. Either way My point is that assholes are assholes regardless of the color of their skin and Ignorance is like a bullet, as in it does more harm than good.
More rants, when I have the time and booze to write them.
To me this seems very simple and practical, some may call this a position of ignorance. That I am refusing to look at anything that doesn't affect me, but the fact is that I take this attitude because to me it is a position of tolerance. For the record I would like to state that in many senses of the word I am a racist (aside from the fact I am in fact white, see Urban Dictionary). I do not however feel any particular need to respect a person of any given ethnicity anymore than a person of any other ethnicity. I am a firm believer in personal merit and personal responsibility. (More on those later)
I am not perfect by even the most delusion, sanity depraved imaginings of the concept, even using regular human behavior as a standard, I come no where close (First class ticket to Hell bought and paid for). So basically who the fuck am I to judge what other people do with themselves.
I personally do no believe in any form of religion or worship. I include all forms because I may miss a few if I get too specific and I would hate to leave anyone out. I have nothing against faith, hope and all those other qualities that religions generally seek to inspire (and in a few isolated incidents they actually come close) but organized religion is crap in my opinion, and any really good intentions have long since been lost to the course of time in the storm battered ocean of human nature. But enough of that, this is another rant in and of itself.
Then there is sex. I am a firm believer in the theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics and in that theme I also believe that whatever a person may want to do with themselves (or other consenting individuals) in their own space and time is entirely their own damn business. Who am I to judge or dictate how a person conducts themselves in private (used in it's loosest meaning here). Who are we as a group to judge anyone in such a manner. This is of course excluding illegal acts as they are most likely violating the primary rule of forcing one's beliefs or practices on another. If I have to explain what sort of things qualify then you deserve to be smacked brutally around a cave with a baseball bat made out of frozen hate.
Back to the subject of racism. The idea of racism is the idea of hating another person based on their race (Shocking revelation I know). To me this is all well and good but in this day and age it is more a rationalization (and a lame one at that) more than anything, to the point it is impossible to make even the most accurate observations without being labeled a racist. If you are still reading at this point then you either; understand where I am coming from or have your email windows open and are getting ready to start flooding me with emails will never read. Either way My point is that assholes are assholes regardless of the color of their skin and Ignorance is like a bullet, as in it does more harm than good.
More rants, when I have the time and booze to write them.
The Decline of Radio
I'm not sure when the decline of tasteful radio actually began, wether it was the increase of audio commercials, pop culture, or when rap went bad. The point is that if you were to turn on the radio on an average day [AM and FM stations, not this funky satellite radio fancy shmancy shit people get these days] most of it's either latino music [which for the most part isn't too bad] or C-rap [if you don't understand what that is I feel sorry for you intellectually]. Now I'm not saying that all rap is bad or that latino music is bad but the majority of shit they put on the radio combined with pop music [a la Disney 2nd gen pop stars] is utter shit. Hell the Brits have pop music that puts us to shame and their music videos are done about 10 times better with less of the ass and chests hanging out [a little thing they have called class ladies and gentlemen].
That's one of the problems I have with rap in of it's general structure for the most part. Half of it objectifies women [the other half is the opposite], half of it is a false idea of what it is to be "Gangster" or "Ghetto" [the other half the opposite which is good] and half of it is about drugs [the other half yet again ... is the opposite]. But the mainstream videos I've seen are mainly the bad half of rap where it's all these scantily clad women, guys with guns, and lots of money from selling drugs and whatever else. I have to say I love the people that wear baggy pants and think they're the shit and ghetto because they're really just posers. People in the ghetto don't wear their pants under their ass or wear baggy pants for that matter. They wear mostly form fitting pants that are held up with a belt in the right place because god knows when you may have to run for your live or from the cops. I think the C-rap came about from the Eminem era of it all and that better rap for the most part resides before that. And for gods sakes stop butchering old songs by stealing their beats, chorus, and singing over them in a lame ass attempt to be cool and retro ... it's horrible and does not do justice to the artists that made them.
Now ... pop culture may yet be one of the greatest declines of our social structure in the past 10 years. Mark the start around Brittany Spears and her horrible singing talents [and continue on with her ability to stay in the news ... wtf is up with that?] and bring it around to today. Most artists don't even sing any more they mostly lip sync and that's horrible. Why even make music if all you're going to do is go the way of wrestling and be fake? Stop bastardizing my music and make it or sod off and move aside for someone WITH talent you lackluster underage gits. And people wonder why we have a growing problem with pedophelia these days. Put younger kids on stage, dress them up to be older than they are, and present them with an extended [yet dumbed down] version of sex appeal and of course we're going to have a growing problem with it! Hell most parents will let their under age kids dress as sluts and pimps these days because if they buy them stuff it gets them to shut up [that's a whole other topic to rant about entirely]. I'm not enjoying the mockery of our musical industry with the crap they think is worth putting out to the unyielding masses. Form of expression maybe but not objectified cash cow, go start a strip club if that's what you're really after.
When I want good music these days I have to search overseas because music in the USA isn't even worth listening to any more. Hell MTV and MTV2 barely show a full hour of music videos and feature [scripted] reality television. Apparently if I want good music I'm not allowed to have it produced in the United States which to me is a pack of lies and at the same time a horrible, horrible truth that haunts me in my sleep. When the radio became nothing but pop music and rap I stopped listening to it, one or two stations remained true to the idea that there was other music out there but the Gods know that they're few and far between. When I'm allowed to even find symphonics on the air I'm relieved as the classics are still alive somewhere but sadly the old phrase "Rock is dead" holds it's icy grip on the US.
May the music industry realize it's folly and go back to being tasteful again before they uncover the secret truths that they've become a stagnant breeding ground for implying that killing for money and sex is fine and that under aged artists shouldn't be objectified like adults.
That's one of the problems I have with rap in of it's general structure for the most part. Half of it objectifies women [the other half is the opposite], half of it is a false idea of what it is to be "Gangster" or "Ghetto" [the other half the opposite which is good] and half of it is about drugs [the other half yet again ... is the opposite]. But the mainstream videos I've seen are mainly the bad half of rap where it's all these scantily clad women, guys with guns, and lots of money from selling drugs and whatever else. I have to say I love the people that wear baggy pants and think they're the shit and ghetto because they're really just posers. People in the ghetto don't wear their pants under their ass or wear baggy pants for that matter. They wear mostly form fitting pants that are held up with a belt in the right place because god knows when you may have to run for your live or from the cops. I think the C-rap came about from the Eminem era of it all and that better rap for the most part resides before that. And for gods sakes stop butchering old songs by stealing their beats, chorus, and singing over them in a lame ass attempt to be cool and retro ... it's horrible and does not do justice to the artists that made them.
Now ... pop culture may yet be one of the greatest declines of our social structure in the past 10 years. Mark the start around Brittany Spears and her horrible singing talents [and continue on with her ability to stay in the news ... wtf is up with that?] and bring it around to today. Most artists don't even sing any more they mostly lip sync and that's horrible. Why even make music if all you're going to do is go the way of wrestling and be fake? Stop bastardizing my music and make it or sod off and move aside for someone WITH talent you lackluster underage gits. And people wonder why we have a growing problem with pedophelia these days. Put younger kids on stage, dress them up to be older than they are, and present them with an extended [yet dumbed down] version of sex appeal and of course we're going to have a growing problem with it! Hell most parents will let their under age kids dress as sluts and pimps these days because if they buy them stuff it gets them to shut up [that's a whole other topic to rant about entirely]. I'm not enjoying the mockery of our musical industry with the crap they think is worth putting out to the unyielding masses. Form of expression maybe but not objectified cash cow, go start a strip club if that's what you're really after.
When I want good music these days I have to search overseas because music in the USA isn't even worth listening to any more. Hell MTV and MTV2 barely show a full hour of music videos and feature [scripted] reality television. Apparently if I want good music I'm not allowed to have it produced in the United States which to me is a pack of lies and at the same time a horrible, horrible truth that haunts me in my sleep. When the radio became nothing but pop music and rap I stopped listening to it, one or two stations remained true to the idea that there was other music out there but the Gods know that they're few and far between. When I'm allowed to even find symphonics on the air I'm relieved as the classics are still alive somewhere but sadly the old phrase "Rock is dead" holds it's icy grip on the US.
May the music industry realize it's folly and go back to being tasteful again before they uncover the secret truths that they've become a stagnant breeding ground for implying that killing for money and sex is fine and that under aged artists shouldn't be objectified like adults.
I hate Twilight and you should too
I'd like to take a minute to talk about something this is, disturbingly, very important. That's right, I want to talk about Twilight. Beating a dead horse? Certainly, but I still see people buying this abortion of literature every day. Good, decent people who don't know any better. They can't know how bad what they're picking up is. (Without say 3-4 minutes of solid research but this is America damn it! No one will do that.) Also, I want to be very clear, we're not going to talk about the movie. I deal with a lot of Twilight fans and not a one can defend the movie or its “acting.” That waste of several hours isn't worth talking about.
Before anyone jumps down my throat (all... one of our readers) I did read the books. All of them. Shit I even paid for Breaking Dawn since I wanted to read it and didn't feel like waiting the week before I could borrow the book from Borders to read it. I read them cover to cover. The first three I read in the span of two days (right before the midnight release party) and the fourth a few days later. And I did go to see the movie (On reflection the fact that I paid more for popcorn and a coke isn't so much of an insult in this case). I sat through the entire thing and laughed pretty hard at some of the “acting.” I've been in the the Twilight trenches, so if anyone can talk about these books, it's me.
I was going to talk about each book in turn... but I only own a copy of Breaking Dawn (somewhere... maybe... I may have set it aflame). I don't feel right talking about specifics without reference materials on hand so I'm just going to speak of generalities. They're all poorly written. Breaking Dawn especially seems like it was pushed out the door and didn't get enough attention from an editor. Hell I bet she only wrote maybe 3 drafts. Sure, they're technically written for teenagers, so maybe demanding that they be quality literature is missing the point. But on the other hand, Fuck You! Saying that you don't need to have high quality or use your full vocabulary because you're writing for teens is bullshit. If you were trying to write for ten year olds, maybe. Maybe. But on the other hand, they might read that at a young age and think that it's how books are meant to be written, how literature is supposed to work, AND THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
So it's poorly written, that can be forgiven if it has a great story right? In short, no. Because it doesn't have a great story. It has a sappy bullshit story that is drawn out and shallow. My co-workers think it's fine that the main character is incredibly shallow because, hey, she's a teenage girl, they're all shallow right? Yeah and fuck you too. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager, not everyone is shallow. Stupid, yes, ignorant, definitely, but shallow? I don't believe that. What I do believe is that the main character is just a shitty way for the author to try and feel young again, like a crappy fanfiction self-insert. What I do believe is that the only characters with any depth are those one the sidelines who are almost unrelated to the story and who simply have depth because their motivations aren't explored by Meyer and thus we can come up with our own ideas about them.
But I want to make a point about our friend hindsight... because... I can honestly say that after reading books three and four of the series (Eclipse and Breaking Dawn respectively) that books one and two aren't THAT bad. That really says more about the former two than it does the latter. This is particularly true of Breaking Dawn. I could spoil it, but that's been done enough. You want to know about the horrific Dhampire baby, the craptastic wedding, and the rape-filled honeymoon? Go somewhere else. I recommend Head Trip (http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20080915.html) Sure it's a comic, it's also completely accurate. A co-worker of mine read Breaking Dawn and we had a great conversation about how horrible it was. I can sum it up with one sentence: “You really shouldn't have read that (Breaking Dawn) so you could at least have remembered the other three books fondly.” And that's the truth. They're all crap, but in comparison to Breaking Dawn the rest is actually readable if not particularly enjoyable.
Side Note: Stephany Meyer is so offensive to my sensibilities that she makes me physically ill. I'm not talking about the Mormon crap. Well, wait, YES I AM! I read four books and not once was there a single obscenity. What the fuck? I'm sorry, was the main character just cornered by several drunken men who intended to rape and (hopefully) kill her? Yes, and her reaction was probably “Holy Crow.” At least the bitch didn't say “Holy Cow,” which is a total mockery of the Hindus and... that's another rant in an of itself. Later. I suppose “Holy Crow” mocks a pagan diety or the druids but I couldn't care less about the pagans or the wiccans. All of that aside, what really gets my goat is that the author has not read any other Vampire novels. None. She hasn't even read Stoker's Dracula. When someone told me this I didn't want to believe it although having read the books it doesn't surprise me at all. But I figured they had to be kidding me. How can you write about vampires and not have done some solid research and at least read Dracula? I can forgive not reading the more modern vampire books like all the Anne Rice shit but not reading Stoker? Come on. (http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20049578,00.html) There's the interview where she admitted she didn't read Dracula.
Although I suppose this explains why her “vampires” are so fucking stupid. Last I checked, in myth vampires were inhuman rape machines that drank blood. Even allowing for some of the shitty western conventions on Vampires that have changed over time and made the myths less interesting just throwing all the myths into the dust makes me alternatively sad and fucking PISSED! Oh, they don't die in the sunlight, they sparkle. I could cry. I really could. But can we talk about that for a minute? Please.
There are a whole bunch of myths about how vampires came to be, but the most common theme to my mind is “cursed by God Himself.” I like that. Cursed to become a soul-less beast what is literally a parasite, feeding on humans to survive. Unable to gain entrance to Heaven or Hell, forced to walk the earth until the end times. What kind of curse is it to fucking sparkle? What kind of God does this? Not mine! And unless I'm completely ass backwards essentially Meyer's “vampires” are immune to all the mythological ways to kill vampires... so why aren't they ruling humanity like gods amongst ants? Seriously, there is no answer here that fits. There is no way for humans to kill these vampires until the modern day (Nukes. They seem to be the only answer. Or 20mm Anti-material sniper rifles from several kilometers away so the vampire is completely unaware of the shot being fired and thus taken by surprise and unable to dodge.) And if we're honest if a “vampire” of her styling were to reveal itself in ancient times in all its sparkly goodness they would be worshiped as a God. Even with the blood sacrifice, it's not like that was uncommon in ancient times. It makes no sense and makes me angry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this, DON'T READ TWILIGHT! Just don't do it. It's not worth the hours of your life... in fact it's not worth anything.
Oh, one last note, Meyer's The Host is actually worse than Twilight. It made me vomit in a mixture of loathing and disgust. I actually express pity to those who pick this book up and buy it when I'm checking them out. I'm not joking. I almost wanted to kill myself while reading the Host. Then I got to the last page and re-read The Black Company. In fact, after reading Meyer's first person crapfests I'm typically unable to read anything in the first person perspective for weeks. This even includes the Dresden Files.
Before anyone jumps down my throat (all... one of our readers) I did read the books. All of them. Shit I even paid for Breaking Dawn since I wanted to read it and didn't feel like waiting the week before I could borrow the book from Borders to read it. I read them cover to cover. The first three I read in the span of two days (right before the midnight release party) and the fourth a few days later. And I did go to see the movie (On reflection the fact that I paid more for popcorn and a coke isn't so much of an insult in this case). I sat through the entire thing and laughed pretty hard at some of the “acting.” I've been in the the Twilight trenches, so if anyone can talk about these books, it's me.
I was going to talk about each book in turn... but I only own a copy of Breaking Dawn (somewhere... maybe... I may have set it aflame). I don't feel right talking about specifics without reference materials on hand so I'm just going to speak of generalities. They're all poorly written. Breaking Dawn especially seems like it was pushed out the door and didn't get enough attention from an editor. Hell I bet she only wrote maybe 3 drafts. Sure, they're technically written for teenagers, so maybe demanding that they be quality literature is missing the point. But on the other hand, Fuck You! Saying that you don't need to have high quality or use your full vocabulary because you're writing for teens is bullshit. If you were trying to write for ten year olds, maybe. Maybe. But on the other hand, they might read that at a young age and think that it's how books are meant to be written, how literature is supposed to work, AND THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
So it's poorly written, that can be forgiven if it has a great story right? In short, no. Because it doesn't have a great story. It has a sappy bullshit story that is drawn out and shallow. My co-workers think it's fine that the main character is incredibly shallow because, hey, she's a teenage girl, they're all shallow right? Yeah and fuck you too. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager, not everyone is shallow. Stupid, yes, ignorant, definitely, but shallow? I don't believe that. What I do believe is that the main character is just a shitty way for the author to try and feel young again, like a crappy fanfiction self-insert. What I do believe is that the only characters with any depth are those one the sidelines who are almost unrelated to the story and who simply have depth because their motivations aren't explored by Meyer and thus we can come up with our own ideas about them.
But I want to make a point about our friend hindsight... because... I can honestly say that after reading books three and four of the series (Eclipse and Breaking Dawn respectively) that books one and two aren't THAT bad. That really says more about the former two than it does the latter. This is particularly true of Breaking Dawn. I could spoil it, but that's been done enough. You want to know about the horrific Dhampire baby, the craptastic wedding, and the rape-filled honeymoon? Go somewhere else. I recommend Head Trip (http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20080915.html) Sure it's a comic, it's also completely accurate. A co-worker of mine read Breaking Dawn and we had a great conversation about how horrible it was. I can sum it up with one sentence: “You really shouldn't have read that (Breaking Dawn) so you could at least have remembered the other three books fondly.” And that's the truth. They're all crap, but in comparison to Breaking Dawn the rest is actually readable if not particularly enjoyable.
Side Note: Stephany Meyer is so offensive to my sensibilities that she makes me physically ill. I'm not talking about the Mormon crap. Well, wait, YES I AM! I read four books and not once was there a single obscenity. What the fuck? I'm sorry, was the main character just cornered by several drunken men who intended to rape and (hopefully) kill her? Yes, and her reaction was probably “Holy Crow.” At least the bitch didn't say “Holy Cow,” which is a total mockery of the Hindus and... that's another rant in an of itself. Later. I suppose “Holy Crow” mocks a pagan diety or the druids but I couldn't care less about the pagans or the wiccans. All of that aside, what really gets my goat is that the author has not read any other Vampire novels. None. She hasn't even read Stoker's Dracula. When someone told me this I didn't want to believe it although having read the books it doesn't surprise me at all. But I figured they had to be kidding me. How can you write about vampires and not have done some solid research and at least read Dracula? I can forgive not reading the more modern vampire books like all the Anne Rice shit but not reading Stoker? Come on. (http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20049578,00.html) There's the interview where she admitted she didn't read Dracula.
Although I suppose this explains why her “vampires” are so fucking stupid. Last I checked, in myth vampires were inhuman rape machines that drank blood. Even allowing for some of the shitty western conventions on Vampires that have changed over time and made the myths less interesting just throwing all the myths into the dust makes me alternatively sad and fucking PISSED! Oh, they don't die in the sunlight, they sparkle. I could cry. I really could. But can we talk about that for a minute? Please.
There are a whole bunch of myths about how vampires came to be, but the most common theme to my mind is “cursed by God Himself.” I like that. Cursed to become a soul-less beast what is literally a parasite, feeding on humans to survive. Unable to gain entrance to Heaven or Hell, forced to walk the earth until the end times. What kind of curse is it to fucking sparkle? What kind of God does this? Not mine! And unless I'm completely ass backwards essentially Meyer's “vampires” are immune to all the mythological ways to kill vampires... so why aren't they ruling humanity like gods amongst ants? Seriously, there is no answer here that fits. There is no way for humans to kill these vampires until the modern day (Nukes. They seem to be the only answer. Or 20mm Anti-material sniper rifles from several kilometers away so the vampire is completely unaware of the shot being fired and thus taken by surprise and unable to dodge.) And if we're honest if a “vampire” of her styling were to reveal itself in ancient times in all its sparkly goodness they would be worshiped as a God. Even with the blood sacrifice, it's not like that was uncommon in ancient times. It makes no sense and makes me angry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this, DON'T READ TWILIGHT! Just don't do it. It's not worth the hours of your life... in fact it's not worth anything.
Oh, one last note, Meyer's The Host is actually worse than Twilight. It made me vomit in a mixture of loathing and disgust. I actually express pity to those who pick this book up and buy it when I'm checking them out. I'm not joking. I almost wanted to kill myself while reading the Host. Then I got to the last page and re-read The Black Company. In fact, after reading Meyer's first person crapfests I'm typically unable to read anything in the first person perspective for weeks. This even includes the Dresden Files.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sometimes I'm glad to be sober
I have spent the majority of this night as I spend most of my weekend nights. That is to say I sit in front of my computer and try and think of something productive to do. Seeing as the weather is finally deciding to shape up and realize what bleeding season it is I have the window open. I live on the 1st floor of a three story apartment building in a college neighborhood. It is Friday night (or Saturday morning if your want to get technical) and therefore I get the particular joy of listening to the sounds of drunken students wandering through the night.
Lots of Drunken students as it happens.
It is a question that has perplexed me for some time and will probably continue to perplex me for the majority of my life, since I am no longer a college student. Why do people feel the need to get so drunk that they are basically incoherent. I have nothing against booze, nothing at all, I like to go out and drink, but I can't understand the appeal of getting so drunk that you are unlikely to remember the majority of you previous evening. The way I see it, at that point you are probably going to do something that is best not remembered, or something you wish you could remember.
In the case of the former, the excess of booze is likely the cause anyway, and in the case of the latter the booze is the axe to the skull of what could have been an awesome story for many years to come.
Frankly I don't get the point of getting shitfaced. I just don't.
Lots of Drunken students as it happens.
It is a question that has perplexed me for some time and will probably continue to perplex me for the majority of my life, since I am no longer a college student. Why do people feel the need to get so drunk that they are basically incoherent. I have nothing against booze, nothing at all, I like to go out and drink, but I can't understand the appeal of getting so drunk that you are unlikely to remember the majority of you previous evening. The way I see it, at that point you are probably going to do something that is best not remembered, or something you wish you could remember.
In the case of the former, the excess of booze is likely the cause anyway, and in the case of the latter the booze is the axe to the skull of what could have been an awesome story for many years to come.
Frankly I don't get the point of getting shitfaced. I just don't.
Random Musing: Death
What if a doctor told you that you had some strange disease or maybe cancer and that you were going to die in say, three months, what would you do?
This came to me, like so many questions, as I lay in bed trying desperately to fall asleep. Now, I'm poor... I work in retail and live week to week. I can't quit my job and go on a three month bender. I'm pretty sure I'd want to but that's just not an option. Besides, I have a job to do. They hired me, I accept their paychecks, I'll be damned if I won't do my job to the best of my ability.
So what would I do? I'd do the professional fucking thing. Nothing. I'd go to work like usual, I'd come home and read too much, I'd play video games until like 3 am with people who annoy the shit out of me. Why would I do anything else? I think the only thing that would change is my smoking... basically I'd do it a lot more. Right about now I only smoke about one cigarette a day, just enough to give me a smoker's cough. If I only had three months to live and didn't have to worry about cancer? I'd kick my smoking into third gear, pack a day at least... so long as I can afford it.
That's the other part, my savings account? Fuck that. I have no future, I'm not going to retire. I'll spend money like it's going out of style, eat off the dollar menu so I can afford expensive scotch and new release movies, cds, games, what the fuck ever. If it's new and shiny and I've only got three months to enjoy new and shiny things then I want 'em!
But I'd still be professional at work. I'd still be cheerful to every customer, positive and happy to help. I wouldn't slack off or even tell my bosses or co-workers I was dying. Why should they care? I'd wait until the proverbial midnight hour before I told anyone and then I'd have as big a party as I could manage. Or at least a night out at some place with good food followed by many many hours of sitting around talking while I at least smoke. The only day I'd break from my typical professionalism is my last day, because it'd be wrong to not turn in my two week's notice. You can't just drop off the radar and stop showing up, that's not fair to your co-workers.
My last day? I'd want to have some fun. Come in dressed as normal, maybe with a tie because I want to go out in style. Then... put on my headset in one ear and my zune in the other. Loud. What if a customer has a question you ask, I hope they can out-yell Clawfinger. I think I'd hang out at the info desk (if you've been to Borders you know what I mean) with an ashtray in one hand and a cigarette in the other until security or (more likely) the police made me leave. Just relax, smoke, drink from a flask bought just for the occasion. I think it'd be a pretty fun day until the fines and the being escorted out part.
'cause you know I wouldn't die that day. I'd die in like half a week after the consequences of my last day at least started to catch up with me.
This came to me, like so many questions, as I lay in bed trying desperately to fall asleep. Now, I'm poor... I work in retail and live week to week. I can't quit my job and go on a three month bender. I'm pretty sure I'd want to but that's just not an option. Besides, I have a job to do. They hired me, I accept their paychecks, I'll be damned if I won't do my job to the best of my ability.
So what would I do? I'd do the professional fucking thing. Nothing. I'd go to work like usual, I'd come home and read too much, I'd play video games until like 3 am with people who annoy the shit out of me. Why would I do anything else? I think the only thing that would change is my smoking... basically I'd do it a lot more. Right about now I only smoke about one cigarette a day, just enough to give me a smoker's cough. If I only had three months to live and didn't have to worry about cancer? I'd kick my smoking into third gear, pack a day at least... so long as I can afford it.
That's the other part, my savings account? Fuck that. I have no future, I'm not going to retire. I'll spend money like it's going out of style, eat off the dollar menu so I can afford expensive scotch and new release movies, cds, games, what the fuck ever. If it's new and shiny and I've only got three months to enjoy new and shiny things then I want 'em!
But I'd still be professional at work. I'd still be cheerful to every customer, positive and happy to help. I wouldn't slack off or even tell my bosses or co-workers I was dying. Why should they care? I'd wait until the proverbial midnight hour before I told anyone and then I'd have as big a party as I could manage. Or at least a night out at some place with good food followed by many many hours of sitting around talking while I at least smoke. The only day I'd break from my typical professionalism is my last day, because it'd be wrong to not turn in my two week's notice. You can't just drop off the radar and stop showing up, that's not fair to your co-workers.
My last day? I'd want to have some fun. Come in dressed as normal, maybe with a tie because I want to go out in style. Then... put on my headset in one ear and my zune in the other. Loud. What if a customer has a question you ask, I hope they can out-yell Clawfinger. I think I'd hang out at the info desk (if you've been to Borders you know what I mean) with an ashtray in one hand and a cigarette in the other until security or (more likely) the police made me leave. Just relax, smoke, drink from a flask bought just for the occasion. I think it'd be a pretty fun day until the fines and the being escorted out part.
'cause you know I wouldn't die that day. I'd die in like half a week after the consequences of my last day at least started to catch up with me.
In the Beginning
In the beginning there was an idea ... and that idea was to make a blog dedicated to who knows what. The council saw that it was good and made it true. Now ... the world may yet live in fear.
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