Right well it's 5:36 in the AM, I've been up all night without cause, and it sounds like there's a pair of squirrels getting freaky on the roof above my room. Like ALL OVER the roof ... feckin horny squirrels.
While I may not have had the ability to attribute to this insanity as much as my brethren have recently I can say that I have much to point a finger at and blame through very little fault of my own. Now as the squirrels move to the wall on the far side and roll around back above me I'll elaborate a bit.
The chain of events leading up to the current disaster has been, interesting to say the least. Deal Barn on Amazon should be treated like the plague for a bunch of bollocks they put me through. Customer Support being highly rude for one and being complete blatant liars for two. Avoid the motherfuckers. The part that brings me to it all though is the fact that [horny squirrels are rolling around now, not just sporadically humping or whatever they're doing] the fact that I'd purchased a "new" motherboard from them. What I got was a board sold only in the United Kingdom, NOT for resale, may have had a fabricated serial number, has no warranty [though Deal Barn claimed it did], and has no support ... at all, ever, end of issue.
Now the reason I'm right pissed about it is that this whole deal is going to cost me upwards of $500 to replace parts on this thing and it's cheaper to buy a new computer. Of course I wouldn't be having this problem if they'd given me the correct board in the first place, wankers. On top of this I's already cost me the following in parts.
CPU
Graphics Card
RAM
2 Power Supplies
3 Hard Drives
Since I moved this machine has been pretty much rebuilt about 3 times, the fact that the motherboard that I was given is not only the wrong one but slowly dying does nothing to improve my mood. I've already spent about $500 on this thing and it's not pleasing to know some pencil pusher with a USB Personal Massager down his pants thinks that he knows anything about about computers. He went so far as to call the Manufacturers of the Motherboard liars and try to play it off as if it wasn't their problem. Needless to say I filed a report to the FTC about the entire issue about Fraudulent practice on their part.
Now the squirrels have stopped their gawd awful shenanigans I can happily say that I've recently been re-employed. While the new venture into the strange [boring] world of sales has proven to be [full of perverts] interesting I find it's still better than not being employed. We do however have some nice perks setup with [b]Amigo[/b] the Mexican Restaurant next door to us who make some of the best grilled chicken quesadias I've ever had. These suckers are stuffed full of chicken and the salsa they provide with the free ships with the meal is really good too. None of that whimpy bland "Mild" or "Hot" salsa, this stuff can be labeled as "Hot" salsa though "Mild" by my tastes. The Special Burrito they have is quite tastey by all accounts as well and comes buried under a heap of varied toppings ranging from cheese to freshly made guacamole ... and I do mean fresh as in the stuff was just made before going onto the burrito, the taste is all the evidence you really need there. The wait staff also seems to be full of eye candy as well, one of these days I'm getting a margarita from them after work ...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Yelling From the Mountain Top: A reason to blog
It has occurred to me on several occasions since my mates and I decided to create this esteemed blog that there was a reason for it in the first place. I am not getting on this particular soapbox to opine how we have strayed from our once noble goals to bitch about video games and the shit around us (although that second one is fairly close to our original idea) but instead to bitch about something we were actually fairly knowledgeable and snobbish about, restaurants. Now you may be asking yourself what in the name of Poseidon's engorged blue crank could possible qualify these nerds to talk about the relative quality of restaurants in any credible capacity. Well myself and Typhus both went to Johnson and Wales University for Culinary arts. I graduated last year and while my esteemed colleague did not graduate per se, he is bitter and highly opinionated and on the internet what more do you need, really?
All that being said, this is the event that caused us to actually go and make this blog happen. Typhus and myself were at his local mall and were waiting for our showing of the Watchmen movie to come about and we were hungry. not content with the selection offered to us by the food court and frankly feeling a bit too lazy to drive to one of the surrounding restaurants, we settled on a Pizzeria Uno in the mall. Nothing outstanding, this is the sort of chain restaurant you find peppering the country, formulaic restaurants that serve food that is generally acceptable, but far from notable. Anyhow, Typhus and I took our table and place our drink orders with our server, some 20-something guy named Chris, and sat back for our usual sort of discussion, drinks came and we looked over our menus. Now I will say up front that when it comes to ordering at this sort of place I am spoiled. I have working in kitchens for almost 7 years now and been cooking for 6 of those years. I have also taken a good amount of courses that discuss the principles of menu writing and so reading a menu from this sort of place is kind of disappointing, in the way that insiders can see through the surface and read the subtext. Anyway, after a bit of perusing the menu trying to decide what I felt like eating I settled on a pasta dish involving Jalapenos, chicken, and a cream sauce. Now as I said I don't expect much from this place, but what I got still managed to let me down. It was bland, barely appealing and there was no really effort put into it. I ate about half of it and Typhus didn't fare much better with his own dish.
This is more or less the point where the story begins, the rest is just background and context. When we had decided we'd had enough of of our respective dishes we began to look around for our server and low and behold he was no where to be found. Now Typhus and I consider ourselves to be polite and civil people when regarding professional workers. We both hate rude customers, I have seen more than my share in restaurants and Typhus in the bookstore he works at. So we decided that since we still have some time before our movie, we would just sit, converse and wait for our server to show up again, no doubt he was occupied, despite the fact we appeared to be his only table.
Twenty minutes later, there was still no sign of Chris and we were becoming quite annoyed at this point. The topic of our conversation at this point had moved to complaining about the things that bug us about mediocre restaurants such as this one and talking about starting a blog based off that topic, sort of as amateur food critics. After a few more minutes where we basically decided that Chris wasn't coming back we headed to the front of the restaurant where a manager was at the main station. We asked where our server was and were informed, that basically his shift had ended and he had left...in the middle of serving us. Either he had switched us over to another server (as is standard in this industry) and they had forgotten about us. Or he had ignored or forgotten about us altogether. Either way were were mildly insulted and this obviously did nothing to our dining experience. We decided to take the obvious route and return insult with insult. We paid our bill and left a tip of 25 cents, sure it was unlikely that this would ever come back to our original server in any meaningful way, but that didn't matter. To us the point had been made.
All that being said, this is the event that caused us to actually go and make this blog happen. Typhus and myself were at his local mall and were waiting for our showing of the Watchmen movie to come about and we were hungry. not content with the selection offered to us by the food court and frankly feeling a bit too lazy to drive to one of the surrounding restaurants, we settled on a Pizzeria Uno in the mall. Nothing outstanding, this is the sort of chain restaurant you find peppering the country, formulaic restaurants that serve food that is generally acceptable, but far from notable. Anyhow, Typhus and I took our table and place our drink orders with our server, some 20-something guy named Chris, and sat back for our usual sort of discussion, drinks came and we looked over our menus. Now I will say up front that when it comes to ordering at this sort of place I am spoiled. I have working in kitchens for almost 7 years now and been cooking for 6 of those years. I have also taken a good amount of courses that discuss the principles of menu writing and so reading a menu from this sort of place is kind of disappointing, in the way that insiders can see through the surface and read the subtext. Anyway, after a bit of perusing the menu trying to decide what I felt like eating I settled on a pasta dish involving Jalapenos, chicken, and a cream sauce. Now as I said I don't expect much from this place, but what I got still managed to let me down. It was bland, barely appealing and there was no really effort put into it. I ate about half of it and Typhus didn't fare much better with his own dish.
This is more or less the point where the story begins, the rest is just background and context. When we had decided we'd had enough of of our respective dishes we began to look around for our server and low and behold he was no where to be found. Now Typhus and I consider ourselves to be polite and civil people when regarding professional workers. We both hate rude customers, I have seen more than my share in restaurants and Typhus in the bookstore he works at. So we decided that since we still have some time before our movie, we would just sit, converse and wait for our server to show up again, no doubt he was occupied, despite the fact we appeared to be his only table.
Twenty minutes later, there was still no sign of Chris and we were becoming quite annoyed at this point. The topic of our conversation at this point had moved to complaining about the things that bug us about mediocre restaurants such as this one and talking about starting a blog based off that topic, sort of as amateur food critics. After a few more minutes where we basically decided that Chris wasn't coming back we headed to the front of the restaurant where a manager was at the main station. We asked where our server was and were informed, that basically his shift had ended and he had left...in the middle of serving us. Either he had switched us over to another server (as is standard in this industry) and they had forgotten about us. Or he had ignored or forgotten about us altogether. Either way were were mildly insulted and this obviously did nothing to our dining experience. We decided to take the obvious route and return insult with insult. We paid our bill and left a tip of 25 cents, sure it was unlikely that this would ever come back to our original server in any meaningful way, but that didn't matter. To us the point had been made.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Ninja Gaiden 2
I get the feeling I'm a little late to the party playing this game. Ah well. So, constant pestering from a co-worker finally caused me to dust this game off and put it in my 360 and I have to say, it certainly re-affirmed my hatred of the japs AND gave me new faith in Yahtzee's reviews. Hell you can skip everything I'm about to say and go watch his review (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/175-Ninja-Gaiden-2). It's spot on.
In the interests of full disclosure, my co-worker is a goddamn moron and I only played through the first level of the game. I was all set to bash my way as far as I could get into the game (in say, 4 hours) when the single most retarded thing I've seen all day happened. At the start of the second level I was attacked by a rabid dog. Fine, whatever, I'm a ninja. Dead dog. I turn about the corner and there are seven or eight dogs. Only these dogs are black, have harnesses with throwing knives, and carry Katanas... In their mouths. They actually fought me with those damn swords. I paused the game, quit to the dashboard while swearing about goddamn japs and their weeaboo fans, and took the game out of my console to NEVER return.
It's not that the game is too hard (which it is), that the level design is shit (oh yeah), or even that the camera adds a whole new level of difficulty (what's up assholes with ranged attacks who are off screen). It's that I am very much not the intended audience which is obvious from the start. And I'm not even talking about my hatred for everything japanese here! This is a game set in the fucking future where everyone still fights with swords, exploding shurieken, bows, and magic. Let me get this straight, a bow with exploding arrows or flaming arrows is somehow better than an assault rifle? Bullshit. I am in fact calling bullshit on the entire premise. If the setting had been, oh I don't know, ancient magical never existed japan I'd be happy. But it's not.
In fact, I figured out a way to change the plot and not only have the game make sense but still be fun. Instead of playing the stupid goddamn ninja you play the CIA woman. The first level is you picking out suitable clothes and changing out of the wannabe dominatrix gear. The second level is you trading in the bullshit desert eagle knockoffs for a single suitable .45 cal sidearm and a silenced SMG or if you don't care about starting an international war, an assault rifle. The third level is the fun one, giant fuckoff interactive dialog tree where you call the US and summon up a team of Delta Force Operators to come provide backup. The entire rest of the game is you raping the fuck out of ninnies with swords, claws, other impractical weapons (a fucking scythe?! Points for looking cool but that's just stupid) and sniping the idiots with bows from a good 500 meters beyond their maximum range.
Or alternatively the game is changed to one (short) level where you fly a stealth bomber with a couple of extremely high yield nukes and start turning Japan into glass. Becuase, if they summon the big bad daemon the world ends. Seems like that's an acceptable sacrifice to me. In fact, let's make sure these sorts of games never get made again, nuke japan.
In the interests of full disclosure, my co-worker is a goddamn moron and I only played through the first level of the game. I was all set to bash my way as far as I could get into the game (in say, 4 hours) when the single most retarded thing I've seen all day happened. At the start of the second level I was attacked by a rabid dog. Fine, whatever, I'm a ninja. Dead dog. I turn about the corner and there are seven or eight dogs. Only these dogs are black, have harnesses with throwing knives, and carry Katanas... In their mouths. They actually fought me with those damn swords. I paused the game, quit to the dashboard while swearing about goddamn japs and their weeaboo fans, and took the game out of my console to NEVER return.
It's not that the game is too hard (which it is), that the level design is shit (oh yeah), or even that the camera adds a whole new level of difficulty (what's up assholes with ranged attacks who are off screen). It's that I am very much not the intended audience which is obvious from the start. And I'm not even talking about my hatred for everything japanese here! This is a game set in the fucking future where everyone still fights with swords, exploding shurieken, bows, and magic. Let me get this straight, a bow with exploding arrows or flaming arrows is somehow better than an assault rifle? Bullshit. I am in fact calling bullshit on the entire premise. If the setting had been, oh I don't know, ancient magical never existed japan I'd be happy. But it's not.
In fact, I figured out a way to change the plot and not only have the game make sense but still be fun. Instead of playing the stupid goddamn ninja you play the CIA woman. The first level is you picking out suitable clothes and changing out of the wannabe dominatrix gear. The second level is you trading in the bullshit desert eagle knockoffs for a single suitable .45 cal sidearm and a silenced SMG or if you don't care about starting an international war, an assault rifle. The third level is the fun one, giant fuckoff interactive dialog tree where you call the US and summon up a team of Delta Force Operators to come provide backup. The entire rest of the game is you raping the fuck out of ninnies with swords, claws, other impractical weapons (a fucking scythe?! Points for looking cool but that's just stupid) and sniping the idiots with bows from a good 500 meters beyond their maximum range.
Or alternatively the game is changed to one (short) level where you fly a stealth bomber with a couple of extremely high yield nukes and start turning Japan into glass. Becuase, if they summon the big bad daemon the world ends. Seems like that's an acceptable sacrifice to me. In fact, let's make sure these sorts of games never get made again, nuke japan.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Full WET Review
** Spoiler Alert**
I have just now finished playing the game WET and I wanted to get some thoughts about it down under the guise of a legitimate review. I suppose this is a review in the loose sense of the word. After all it's not really a rant (though there will be some of that) and I am not being paid to write any of this. In fact I doubt much of anyone will read this that won't hear this from me anyway, but that is not important.
I figure the best place to start is the things I like about the game. First off, I LOVE the soundtrack of this game. As I write this I am listening to the soundtrack for this game using the Jukebox feature (great idea by the way). Even so I will probably still buy the soundtrack just to have it on my computer. Most of the music featured in this game is of a genre I adore, Pychobilly. A hybrid genre of Rockabilly and Punk and I love the sound of it. It compliments the game's theme and play speed very well, being very high paced and energetic. The only real complaint I have about the soundtrack is that there needs to be more of it, a few of the chase and fight scenes are lacking any music save for the environmental sounds. But what sort of complaint is that there needs to be more of something awesome, especially with the ability to listen to just the soundtrack.
Now sad to say that is the only part of the game I can truly praise. Don't get me wrong I found the game enjoyable. I am just saying that while playing through the game a good bit of it's content struck me as lifted from other games, movies, and tropes. Now if you know me you will already know I don't consider this a damning thing. At this point in history and even gaming history, it is very hard to do much of anything that hasn't been done better by someone before you. One need look no further than South Park to prove this. And my answer to this is so fucking what, just because something has been don't doesn't mean it can't be put to good use.
Moving on. Since this is an action platforming shooter, let's talk about those first. Now the action is solid, the main (and advertised) focus is the "Acrobatic Slo-Mo" that pervades the combat throughout this game. And when I say pervades, I mean if you are not using this game's take on bullet time, then you are as good as dead. Now the jumping/sliding/wall running works well and is solid enough. Is it perfect, fuck no! But the learning curve is good and the controls feel smooth and easy. As for the platforming, well...it's Prince of Persia: Sands of Time... Minus the whole rewinding time thing (thank god this game has no time manipulation). I really won't complain about that since as far as 3-D platforming involving climbing/swinging, jumping (as well as incorporating the combat in with it) goes, I personally think PoP:SoT is the gold standard. So you could do a lot worse than copy it. Of course it really even out to be a net of meh since, it is still a pretty blatant rip-off none the less. The Shooting, I'm really not sure where this mechanic is taken from, but it is solid and while I have no real praise I can't fault it. the only time the shooting really sucked was in the beginning when I was playing like shit, but that is me and not the game.
Now the controls. This game like so many other nowadays, covers and makes use of all the buttons on the controller. The two bumper buttons only find use when the right upgrades are purchased (more on those later). I have played much worse control schemes and much less intuitive ones as well (Mirror's Edge). Once again I kept getting the feeling that the basic layout of the controls was taken from Prince of Persia, and once again I don't think that is a bad thing.
The voice acting and animation. the voice work is actually pretty enjoyable, not Oscar worth to be sure but it is quite good and I didn't come across any really bad performances, even the mindless minions sounds into it and that seems rare in games these days. The animation on the other hand is... acceptable, nothing much more than that, the environments look good and accomplish their job of hiding the invisible walls and looking pretty and believable. The character models look like a recent game for the PS2 and that is not something good on an XBOX 360. I will say this the voice acting and the soundtrack do go along way to make this a great sounding game, which would be great if I were only listening to it, which I am not.
There are a few other things that go a good ways to helping the atmosphere of this game the film scratches and other old time film effects, event he commercials that occasionally pop up are a nice touch to be sure. I am certainly no film buff, but the whole thing feel like a Quentin Tarentino movie (namely Kill Bill) turned into a game, touches and all.
Now to the bad parts.
In relation to the controls, while I think the basic control scheme is not really a problem I do feel that the commands that you gain through the upgrade system are thoroughly unnecessary. First off, why the fuck is there an evade button? This is a game where the main character's whole freaking combat style is based around jumping and moving around, too make her hard to hit and give her a combat advantage. Why does dodging have to be a separate button, and the left bumper no less, I often forget about the bumper buttons entirely, why would I use it to dodge shit when I am jumping through the air.
The Quciktime Events. I know, I know, bitching about QTE's in modern games is like complaining about bad AI and Jumping puzzles, they are here to stay because they work, for game developers. I will even admit that they have their place in games, they can spice up a cutscene nicely and provide some nifty deaths (God of War being my gold standard here) But when I have to press a button and mash another for a few seconds, it is not only flow breaking, it's pointless. In a game that empathizes constant movement and agility, spending a few seconds at each do I have to pass through is ridiculous. They are put to decent use in this game but not nearly enough to redeem the doors.
There are a few little things, the upgrade system is unnecessary, I am getting tired of action/shooter game trying to be RPG's by adding in upgrading systems.
I had to mention this last bit because out of all the nagging little things that I felt held this game back, this is the one time where I could not let it slide. This game has, in my humble opinion, THE LEAST SATISFYING BOSS FIGHT at the end of the game. Without getting into plot details the boss fight involves taking on the main villain and his remaining bodyguard, one at a time. Nothing wrong with this on the surface, pretty standard for the most part, but whatever. Here is my problem with it, the sub-boss (the bodyguard) is A 5 BUTTON LONG QUICKTIME EVENT strung together with about 3 minutes of cut-scenes of the two of you fighting. I actually had to retry it ONCE because the first time I played it I was so stunned at what I was seeing that I forgot to watch the button commands.
As if that was not enough of a kick to the balls (or punch to the ovaries) for you, the final boss fight... Are you ready for this, is a whopping 3 BUTTON QUICKTIME EVENT. That is it. That is fucking it. I actually sat there after I beat him on my first try and could not believe what the fuck had just happened. I could call this sort of fight all kinds of things, but given the rest of the game (and the state of games today) I really should not have been surprised. After all the fight with the first bodyguard (who is fucking awesome) is all QTE's and unless I skipped a cut scene by actident he dies off screen. Seriously I get to the final showdown and spent about 15 seconds asking the TV where this guy had gone to. I have never felt so let down by a game that I was looking forward to so much and enjoyed playing as I did this one.
I am used to the actual ending scenes and story conclusions failing to impress or satisfy. But never the fucking boss fights. If you want to know what this ending did to my opinion of the game, just look back at all the stuff I mentioned that was acceptable but not good. The bits I mentioned that were maybe copied from other games. The parts that didn't hurt the game but really did nothing to help it. Take all that stuff and ignore it, completely. Now this may feel like an asshole move. You have now read through a good bit of my writing (I am sorry for you) and now I am saying that none of this was worth the electricity used to power your monitor. Well, welcome to my world after finishing this game.
With some games, you know that it is not worth your money as soon as you hear about it or play the demo. Some games actually get you to buy the game and play the first couple of levels before you see the folly of your ways.
This freaking game, made me wait until the very fucking end before it decided to cockslap me in the face and laugh at me. Granted I have not taken a crack at the challenge modes yet, nor the higher difficulties, so I can't speak for it's replay value. But let me tell you it doesn't look promising. In summary the only thing I can recommend to anyone interested int his game is to go out and find the soundtrack, you'll save a good bit of money.
I have just now finished playing the game WET and I wanted to get some thoughts about it down under the guise of a legitimate review. I suppose this is a review in the loose sense of the word. After all it's not really a rant (though there will be some of that) and I am not being paid to write any of this. In fact I doubt much of anyone will read this that won't hear this from me anyway, but that is not important.
I figure the best place to start is the things I like about the game. First off, I LOVE the soundtrack of this game. As I write this I am listening to the soundtrack for this game using the Jukebox feature (great idea by the way). Even so I will probably still buy the soundtrack just to have it on my computer. Most of the music featured in this game is of a genre I adore, Pychobilly. A hybrid genre of Rockabilly and Punk and I love the sound of it. It compliments the game's theme and play speed very well, being very high paced and energetic. The only real complaint I have about the soundtrack is that there needs to be more of it, a few of the chase and fight scenes are lacking any music save for the environmental sounds. But what sort of complaint is that there needs to be more of something awesome, especially with the ability to listen to just the soundtrack.
Now sad to say that is the only part of the game I can truly praise. Don't get me wrong I found the game enjoyable. I am just saying that while playing through the game a good bit of it's content struck me as lifted from other games, movies, and tropes. Now if you know me you will already know I don't consider this a damning thing. At this point in history and even gaming history, it is very hard to do much of anything that hasn't been done better by someone before you. One need look no further than South Park to prove this. And my answer to this is so fucking what, just because something has been don't doesn't mean it can't be put to good use.
Moving on. Since this is an action platforming shooter, let's talk about those first. Now the action is solid, the main (and advertised) focus is the "Acrobatic Slo-Mo" that pervades the combat throughout this game. And when I say pervades, I mean if you are not using this game's take on bullet time, then you are as good as dead. Now the jumping/sliding/wall running works well and is solid enough. Is it perfect, fuck no! But the learning curve is good and the controls feel smooth and easy. As for the platforming, well...it's Prince of Persia: Sands of Time... Minus the whole rewinding time thing (thank god this game has no time manipulation). I really won't complain about that since as far as 3-D platforming involving climbing/swinging, jumping (as well as incorporating the combat in with it) goes, I personally think PoP:SoT is the gold standard. So you could do a lot worse than copy it. Of course it really even out to be a net of meh since, it is still a pretty blatant rip-off none the less. The Shooting, I'm really not sure where this mechanic is taken from, but it is solid and while I have no real praise I can't fault it. the only time the shooting really sucked was in the beginning when I was playing like shit, but that is me and not the game.
Now the controls. This game like so many other nowadays, covers and makes use of all the buttons on the controller. The two bumper buttons only find use when the right upgrades are purchased (more on those later). I have played much worse control schemes and much less intuitive ones as well (Mirror's Edge). Once again I kept getting the feeling that the basic layout of the controls was taken from Prince of Persia, and once again I don't think that is a bad thing.
The voice acting and animation. the voice work is actually pretty enjoyable, not Oscar worth to be sure but it is quite good and I didn't come across any really bad performances, even the mindless minions sounds into it and that seems rare in games these days. The animation on the other hand is... acceptable, nothing much more than that, the environments look good and accomplish their job of hiding the invisible walls and looking pretty and believable. The character models look like a recent game for the PS2 and that is not something good on an XBOX 360. I will say this the voice acting and the soundtrack do go along way to make this a great sounding game, which would be great if I were only listening to it, which I am not.
There are a few other things that go a good ways to helping the atmosphere of this game the film scratches and other old time film effects, event he commercials that occasionally pop up are a nice touch to be sure. I am certainly no film buff, but the whole thing feel like a Quentin Tarentino movie (namely Kill Bill) turned into a game, touches and all.
Now to the bad parts.
In relation to the controls, while I think the basic control scheme is not really a problem I do feel that the commands that you gain through the upgrade system are thoroughly unnecessary. First off, why the fuck is there an evade button? This is a game where the main character's whole freaking combat style is based around jumping and moving around, too make her hard to hit and give her a combat advantage. Why does dodging have to be a separate button, and the left bumper no less, I often forget about the bumper buttons entirely, why would I use it to dodge shit when I am jumping through the air.
The Quciktime Events. I know, I know, bitching about QTE's in modern games is like complaining about bad AI and Jumping puzzles, they are here to stay because they work, for game developers. I will even admit that they have their place in games, they can spice up a cutscene nicely and provide some nifty deaths (God of War being my gold standard here) But when I have to press a button and mash another for a few seconds, it is not only flow breaking, it's pointless. In a game that empathizes constant movement and agility, spending a few seconds at each do I have to pass through is ridiculous. They are put to decent use in this game but not nearly enough to redeem the doors.
There are a few little things, the upgrade system is unnecessary, I am getting tired of action/shooter game trying to be RPG's by adding in upgrading systems.
I had to mention this last bit because out of all the nagging little things that I felt held this game back, this is the one time where I could not let it slide. This game has, in my humble opinion, THE LEAST SATISFYING BOSS FIGHT at the end of the game. Without getting into plot details the boss fight involves taking on the main villain and his remaining bodyguard, one at a time. Nothing wrong with this on the surface, pretty standard for the most part, but whatever. Here is my problem with it, the sub-boss (the bodyguard) is A 5 BUTTON LONG QUICKTIME EVENT strung together with about 3 minutes of cut-scenes of the two of you fighting. I actually had to retry it ONCE because the first time I played it I was so stunned at what I was seeing that I forgot to watch the button commands.
As if that was not enough of a kick to the balls (or punch to the ovaries) for you, the final boss fight... Are you ready for this, is a whopping 3 BUTTON QUICKTIME EVENT. That is it. That is fucking it. I actually sat there after I beat him on my first try and could not believe what the fuck had just happened. I could call this sort of fight all kinds of things, but given the rest of the game (and the state of games today) I really should not have been surprised. After all the fight with the first bodyguard (who is fucking awesome) is all QTE's and unless I skipped a cut scene by actident he dies off screen. Seriously I get to the final showdown and spent about 15 seconds asking the TV where this guy had gone to. I have never felt so let down by a game that I was looking forward to so much and enjoyed playing as I did this one.
I am used to the actual ending scenes and story conclusions failing to impress or satisfy. But never the fucking boss fights. If you want to know what this ending did to my opinion of the game, just look back at all the stuff I mentioned that was acceptable but not good. The bits I mentioned that were maybe copied from other games. The parts that didn't hurt the game but really did nothing to help it. Take all that stuff and ignore it, completely. Now this may feel like an asshole move. You have now read through a good bit of my writing (I am sorry for you) and now I am saying that none of this was worth the electricity used to power your monitor. Well, welcome to my world after finishing this game.
With some games, you know that it is not worth your money as soon as you hear about it or play the demo. Some games actually get you to buy the game and play the first couple of levels before you see the folly of your ways.
This freaking game, made me wait until the very fucking end before it decided to cockslap me in the face and laugh at me. Granted I have not taken a crack at the challenge modes yet, nor the higher difficulties, so I can't speak for it's replay value. But let me tell you it doesn't look promising. In summary the only thing I can recommend to anyone interested int his game is to go out and find the soundtrack, you'll save a good bit of money.
Friday, September 11, 2009
WET Demo Review
Greetings denizens of the internet. I know updates to this blog have been pretty damn infrequent lately and I also realize that by and large this doesn't matter, even if by some miracle someone other than the three of the authors actually read this blog. But none the less I figured that I would post something, partly because I felt like doing a little writing and partly since I always feel bad when this blog goes without updates for too long.
Since our usual game guy around these parts seems to have gone into hibernation I felt like writing about the demo for the upcoming game "WET". Now for those of you that have not checked out the demo for this game it's an upcoming release from Bethesda Studios and developed by Artificial Mind and Movement. Bethesda really needs no introduction. Their work is topnotch for the most part and more likely than not you know who they are. If you don't then Google them, seriously I'm not gonna waste my time explaining them anymore. Now Artificial Mind and Movement (A2M) is another matter altogether, looking at their list of games is not very encouraging. With a few exceptions all of their games to date are tie-in games to movies and children television shows and frankly that is worrying, but the demo is encouraging.
The game is a third person shooter featuring a female heroine named Rubi Malone. The style of the Game's music, art, and theme feels kind of like a film noir as done by Quentin Tarantino. It seems to have that sort of Kill Bill-esque violence as a spectacle sort of thing going on. And I think it works, granted violent games are a dime a dozen these days, and it's not like this game is going to stand out on it's violence alone. But really isn't that a good thing. Games can't really ride that train anymore and really that whole sort of thing stopped woring back in the 90's.
Anyhow, the demo. Like most demos the goal is to show the game off, show the control scheme, and several game modes. I could get into a whole different rant about how that should be what ALL demos do , but I won't bore any of you with that. The demo starts with a cut scene, of a deal gone wrong, classic and nothing out of the ordinary, I personally like the guy with the voice box, and in true gaming tradition, the cool one off characters get killed off way to fast. Rubi enters and the demo runs you through the controls for the games fighting and one of the main action focuses of the game, the acrobatic fighting. basically, when you jump, slide, or wall run the game goes into bullet time and allows for easier kills. Actually this leads into the closest thing I have to a complaint about the demo, Shooting normally is basically a waste of time your accuracy and the effectiveness of your weapons seems to drop to near uselessness. Granted that could be more an issue with my own skill, and since the game thoughtfully provides you with many, many, many places to jump of and run off so this is probably needless bitching. Moving on, after you kill all the enemies you go through a few more areas that show you health regen (Drinking Whiskey, awesome) and sword attacks (good feedback, awesome).
After a bit more linear progression, you come to a large and fairly open area and kick off the second main action focus, Arena Combat. I could get into this but that's unnecessary. The basic idea is that there are a certain number of spawn points and you have to close them while killing enemies. Since there is no whiskey lying about, you regenerate health by building up a multiplier by killing enemies, which is fun and challenging without being overly hard. After that is done you move onto the next action focus, a high speed car chase, with Rubi jumping from the roof of car to car, shooting baddies and doing, you guessed it quick time events!!!! Now I know that a good amount of critics bag on these but I don't have a real problem with them when they are used responsibly (a minority even to be sure) and I feel in this game they work, they are infrequent enough to not get in the way, pervasive enough so you know to watch out for them, and while some of them (especially in the driving section) are "Press X to not die affairs", the game is generous enough with checkpoints so they aren't controller snappingly annoying.
Overall I can't wait for this game. Granted all these things could be thrown off in the real game, but Bethesda is a good developer and I am choosing to invest some faith in them to put out a good game.
Since our usual game guy around these parts seems to have gone into hibernation I felt like writing about the demo for the upcoming game "WET". Now for those of you that have not checked out the demo for this game it's an upcoming release from Bethesda Studios and developed by Artificial Mind and Movement. Bethesda really needs no introduction. Their work is topnotch for the most part and more likely than not you know who they are. If you don't then Google them, seriously I'm not gonna waste my time explaining them anymore. Now Artificial Mind and Movement (A2M) is another matter altogether, looking at their list of games is not very encouraging. With a few exceptions all of their games to date are tie-in games to movies and children television shows and frankly that is worrying, but the demo is encouraging.
The game is a third person shooter featuring a female heroine named Rubi Malone. The style of the Game's music, art, and theme feels kind of like a film noir as done by Quentin Tarantino. It seems to have that sort of Kill Bill-esque violence as a spectacle sort of thing going on. And I think it works, granted violent games are a dime a dozen these days, and it's not like this game is going to stand out on it's violence alone. But really isn't that a good thing. Games can't really ride that train anymore and really that whole sort of thing stopped woring back in the 90's.
Anyhow, the demo. Like most demos the goal is to show the game off, show the control scheme, and several game modes. I could get into a whole different rant about how that should be what ALL demos do , but I won't bore any of you with that. The demo starts with a cut scene, of a deal gone wrong, classic and nothing out of the ordinary, I personally like the guy with the voice box, and in true gaming tradition, the cool one off characters get killed off way to fast. Rubi enters and the demo runs you through the controls for the games fighting and one of the main action focuses of the game, the acrobatic fighting. basically, when you jump, slide, or wall run the game goes into bullet time and allows for easier kills. Actually this leads into the closest thing I have to a complaint about the demo, Shooting normally is basically a waste of time your accuracy and the effectiveness of your weapons seems to drop to near uselessness. Granted that could be more an issue with my own skill, and since the game thoughtfully provides you with many, many, many places to jump of and run off so this is probably needless bitching. Moving on, after you kill all the enemies you go through a few more areas that show you health regen (Drinking Whiskey, awesome) and sword attacks (good feedback, awesome).
After a bit more linear progression, you come to a large and fairly open area and kick off the second main action focus, Arena Combat. I could get into this but that's unnecessary. The basic idea is that there are a certain number of spawn points and you have to close them while killing enemies. Since there is no whiskey lying about, you regenerate health by building up a multiplier by killing enemies, which is fun and challenging without being overly hard. After that is done you move onto the next action focus, a high speed car chase, with Rubi jumping from the roof of car to car, shooting baddies and doing, you guessed it quick time events!!!! Now I know that a good amount of critics bag on these but I don't have a real problem with them when they are used responsibly (a minority even to be sure) and I feel in this game they work, they are infrequent enough to not get in the way, pervasive enough so you know to watch out for them, and while some of them (especially in the driving section) are "Press X to not die affairs", the game is generous enough with checkpoints so they aren't controller snappingly annoying.
Overall I can't wait for this game. Granted all these things could be thrown off in the real game, but Bethesda is a good developer and I am choosing to invest some faith in them to put out a good game.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Musical Endurance
How long can you last. Found this on the Spoony Experiment and I could seriously dance to this sort of thing. Seriously, punk trance, why have I not seen this before I am intrigued and amused. Either way I watched the whole thing and felt it was worth seeing if people could do the same.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
This Week in gaming
So... I've finally got all the achievements in left 4 Dead. Yeah. That was fun. I had for farm zombies for about 6.5 hours today. But I got it done, I can put that on my shelf and never, ever, play it again! I'm incredibly happy to be done and am not going near the game for at least a week, maybe more.
Also, Overlord 2 arrived this week. The game isn't perfect, but it is a lot of fun. Great sense of humour as always and very rewarding. I'm about half way through the story and it is just awesome. My one complaint (other than a couple of quests that were just brutally difficult) is the checkpoint system. Checkpoints are indecently far apart sometimes and without a save anywhere feature (ugh. Why?!) it can be a royal pain. Like restarting a quest from the start because you fucked up on the very last portion. That aside, the game is easily worth every penny I spent.
But, the star of the day, and the week, is Battlefield 1943. Fucking excellence. There are issues, but it's also launch day so I can forgive a lot of those. I'm going to talk about them before I do anything else:
A lot of the in game menues are flat out broken. Specifically related to the Squad system (in game integration with the Party system) . Getting someone invited to you squad is a pain in the ass. They have to be on your friends list to start with (so gods help you if you meet a cool guy in game and want to squad up but not be friends). Then the menu has to decide if it likes you. At one point three of us where all in the same menu trying to invite each other, slamming the invite button, and *nothing* happened.
There are graphical glitches too, I haven't seen them personally, but two of my party members experienced momentary graphical glitches. Meh.
The biggest problem though, is the servers... The devs did not expect the number of players they got and it shows. I'm kind of surprised they weren't expecting a lot of players since Battlefield 1942 was one of the biggest FPS games in the world but hey. They need to get a lot of new servers up ASAP!
Nearly forgot, the matchmaking and team balancing needs a little help: At one point in our game it was 12 vs 6. And a few hours later it was 7 vs 12. And being one of those 7 was pretty shitty.
On the plus side, the game is extremely fun. I played from about 11:30 till just after 4 AM straight. Earned all but 3 achievements. Which, folks, it's an arcade game. Only 200 potential gamerscore. Sorry! And... it's just awesome. The vehicles are fun even if the plane controls are godawful to figure out. Vehicles also default to first person view... not cool but it's a button-press to get to third person.
There are only 3 classes but all of them work very well. Sniping took a few minutes but I got to use it very effectively a couple of times... the better of those two defeinding a base after bombs cleared out all the obstructions in front of me for a good 200-300 meters. Plus, all guns have unlimited ammunition, you just have to reload. Sounds perfect to me. All the action, nothing to take you out of it. Unless of course you don't get in the boat fast enough and have to swim to shore, good luck Phelps!
1943 is a must buy for any Multiplayer FPS fan. It's an absolute blast to play especially with friends.
Also, Overlord 2 arrived this week. The game isn't perfect, but it is a lot of fun. Great sense of humour as always and very rewarding. I'm about half way through the story and it is just awesome. My one complaint (other than a couple of quests that were just brutally difficult) is the checkpoint system. Checkpoints are indecently far apart sometimes and without a save anywhere feature (ugh. Why?!) it can be a royal pain. Like restarting a quest from the start because you fucked up on the very last portion. That aside, the game is easily worth every penny I spent.
But, the star of the day, and the week, is Battlefield 1943. Fucking excellence. There are issues, but it's also launch day so I can forgive a lot of those. I'm going to talk about them before I do anything else:
A lot of the in game menues are flat out broken. Specifically related to the Squad system (in game integration with the Party system) . Getting someone invited to you squad is a pain in the ass. They have to be on your friends list to start with (so gods help you if you meet a cool guy in game and want to squad up but not be friends). Then the menu has to decide if it likes you. At one point three of us where all in the same menu trying to invite each other, slamming the invite button, and *nothing* happened.
There are graphical glitches too, I haven't seen them personally, but two of my party members experienced momentary graphical glitches. Meh.
The biggest problem though, is the servers... The devs did not expect the number of players they got and it shows. I'm kind of surprised they weren't expecting a lot of players since Battlefield 1942 was one of the biggest FPS games in the world but hey. They need to get a lot of new servers up ASAP!
Nearly forgot, the matchmaking and team balancing needs a little help: At one point in our game it was 12 vs 6. And a few hours later it was 7 vs 12. And being one of those 7 was pretty shitty.
On the plus side, the game is extremely fun. I played from about 11:30 till just after 4 AM straight. Earned all but 3 achievements. Which, folks, it's an arcade game. Only 200 potential gamerscore. Sorry! And... it's just awesome. The vehicles are fun even if the plane controls are godawful to figure out. Vehicles also default to first person view... not cool but it's a button-press to get to third person.
There are only 3 classes but all of them work very well. Sniping took a few minutes but I got to use it very effectively a couple of times... the better of those two defeinding a base after bombs cleared out all the obstructions in front of me for a good 200-300 meters. Plus, all guns have unlimited ammunition, you just have to reload. Sounds perfect to me. All the action, nothing to take you out of it. Unless of course you don't get in the boat fast enough and have to swim to shore, good luck Phelps!
1943 is a must buy for any Multiplayer FPS fan. It's an absolute blast to play especially with friends.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Questionable
I'm not usually one to speak ill of businesses that like to showcase exceptional buisnesses or business people but my latest dealings with the Cambridge Who's Who have been something of a let down from all the good things I've heard about them.
I had a charge put on my card in the amount of around $200 that I had informed them I might not be able to afford. The appointed day rolls around where I should have gotten a phone call from them and I heard nothing, the next day I had forgotten all about it because I had other things I had needed to do which as anyone who has things to do around the house knows that things get away from you.
Well I get the card bill in the mail and a package the same day and decide to go dispute the charge. The representatives were alright, well mannered and very tolerable of me and I tried my best not to sound like a raving lunatic so much as a distressed and poor person trying to get by [which I am just that actually]. However something in the conversations we had struck me as wrong. I couldn't tell what it was at the time but it was a feeling that the person on the other end of the phone was lying through her teeth at me. The conversation consisted of me being told that at the appointed day they had tried to contact me at ALL phone numbers they had listed for me which included my cell [and while I detest that thing I'll explain one thing I do like about it in a moment]. They had told me that ALL the phone numbers just kept ringing which threw a red flag up so I asked them if they had called my Cell and they swore that they had and didn't even get a voice mail. At that point the second red flag went up and I told them that it was impossible for them not to have gotten a voice mail from my cell phone, it just doesn't work that way. At this point I could tell the woman as trying to get rid of me and we agreed that no further charges would be put on the card without me giving them a phone call first but the $200 charge was going to stay.
Now the rest of the day went on with that nagging feeling that they lied to me and so I rolled out of bed and got online to check my phone records back to the first call they had with me in May. I found the number and searched the day in question to find out that they had indeed NOT done as they had said and called my cell phone. I saw some other number that was best identified as a phone company number but the Cambridge Who's Who number could not be found at all.
So if you get a call from these people I would suggest you just hang up or ask for forms in writing. I'm pretty disappointed in their business practices if they're going to lie about their actions to people over the phone.
I had a charge put on my card in the amount of around $200 that I had informed them I might not be able to afford. The appointed day rolls around where I should have gotten a phone call from them and I heard nothing, the next day I had forgotten all about it because I had other things I had needed to do which as anyone who has things to do around the house knows that things get away from you.
Well I get the card bill in the mail and a package the same day and decide to go dispute the charge. The representatives were alright, well mannered and very tolerable of me and I tried my best not to sound like a raving lunatic so much as a distressed and poor person trying to get by [which I am just that actually]. However something in the conversations we had struck me as wrong. I couldn't tell what it was at the time but it was a feeling that the person on the other end of the phone was lying through her teeth at me. The conversation consisted of me being told that at the appointed day they had tried to contact me at ALL phone numbers they had listed for me which included my cell [and while I detest that thing I'll explain one thing I do like about it in a moment]. They had told me that ALL the phone numbers just kept ringing which threw a red flag up so I asked them if they had called my Cell and they swore that they had and didn't even get a voice mail. At that point the second red flag went up and I told them that it was impossible for them not to have gotten a voice mail from my cell phone, it just doesn't work that way. At this point I could tell the woman as trying to get rid of me and we agreed that no further charges would be put on the card without me giving them a phone call first but the $200 charge was going to stay.
Now the rest of the day went on with that nagging feeling that they lied to me and so I rolled out of bed and got online to check my phone records back to the first call they had with me in May. I found the number and searched the day in question to find out that they had indeed NOT done as they had said and called my cell phone. I saw some other number that was best identified as a phone company number but the Cambridge Who's Who number could not be found at all.
So if you get a call from these people I would suggest you just hang up or ask for forms in writing. I'm pretty disappointed in their business practices if they're going to lie about their actions to people over the phone.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Well, there goes all my E-Cred
As I sit here reading The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerlein, a book that decries social networking as one of the worst things to happen to today's youth I am also signing up for Facebook. Fuck. I used to be able to say I didn't have a myspace, a facebook, a blog, any of that shit. Then came one small concession, a blog, a great place to rant about whatever's bugging me that no one reads. Then E3 hit and I wanted to follow the coverage, well, most of the gaming journalists I like were covering it live with Twitter as well as the articles at the end of every presentation. So I broke down and got a twitter account. Nice service actually... useful for bitching about something via cellphone in semi-real time.
And then Microsoft announced its partnership with Twitter (great, I already have one) Last.FM (Again, awesome, I've got one that I don't use!) and Facebook. Now it's going to be even easier to use facebook since I can catch updates from my 360. And of course, everyone at work uses the damn program. Bloody Everyone! I feel like an ass because I missed the birthday of a co-worker a couple of weeks back that I would have known about had I actually used Facebook... And so my resolve faltered...
Now, in another tab I'm signing up. There goes all the cred I got for scorning the social networking bullshit. Ah well, 'least I don't play WoW...
And then Microsoft announced its partnership with Twitter (great, I already have one) Last.FM (Again, awesome, I've got one that I don't use!) and Facebook. Now it's going to be even easier to use facebook since I can catch updates from my 360. And of course, everyone at work uses the damn program. Bloody Everyone! I feel like an ass because I missed the birthday of a co-worker a couple of weeks back that I would have known about had I actually used Facebook... And so my resolve faltered...
Now, in another tab I'm signing up. There goes all the cred I got for scorning the social networking bullshit. Ah well, 'least I don't play WoW...
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Damnation: First Impressions
This is a hard review to write, on the one hand I want to love Damnation, it is an interesting game that has loads of potential and a lot of style. On the other hand, the devs are obviously fucking retarded. Right off the bat I saw that something was very, very wrong. There are only two difficulty settings unlocked: Casual and Hardcore. I may not game in every minute of my spare time but I'm not a casual player, I play shooters for fun. Hell, I'm anything but an unskilled player, give me half a chance and while I'm not a gaming Savant I'll still kick a little ass. But... Hardcore? Where's the "normal" setting?
Ya see, on Hardcore, it takes two rounds from a sniper rifle or two medium range blasts from a shotgun to kill you (one if you're right up close), and while that is wonderfully realistic I'm not playing Rainbow Six here. I am some nigh mythical badass steampunk cowboy! But it seems that physical agility and upper body strength are all that was covered in Badass training with this game since I can't shoot for shit, aiming sucks, and the screen goes black and white from damage in about half a second flat. And that's not fucking right. Did anyone playtest this and say, yeah, I think the player should be killed for just rounding a corner, that's a good idea!
Fucktards. Scale back the damage or add a "Normal" difficulty. Shit, I've seen enemies eat half a magazine of the "assault rifle" before going down... Why can't I do that? Supposedly all the enemies are using some fucked up combat drugs. And in one of the opening cinematics the main character took a vial of said drugs off of a dead enemy's belt. Why can't I start injecting that shit? Velvet Assassin gave us Morphine mode...
So... the guns suck. They're cool and interesting but they fucking suck. The "Assault Rifle" is inaccurate as hell and takes a third of the magazine to kill one enemy at close range. The Pistol is the only gun you'll ever use. The shot gun is nice... if you are up close. This rarely seems to be the case. The sniper rifle was your average sniper rifle, but since I'm not seeing any ammo crates around it's a dixie cup (use once and throw away). I found a machine pistol... it replaced my regular pistol... The two types of ammo were not interchangable... Turns out I figured out it was a machine pistol and fired so fast that I would have to reload in about five seconds. Dixie Cup! In my short play I also found a "Railroad Pistol" The name might be a bit different. Same ammo problem as the sniper rifle but you can hold the trigger to charge up the pressure and fire your shot for a lot of damage. Reminds me a lot of the Bow from Gears. (Actually this whole game reminds me a lot of Gears but instead of a really nifty cover system I have a a really nifty platforming system THAT DOES NOTHING TO STOP THE BULLETS!)
That segways really nicely into the Platforming, which is really really good. I only played the Demo of the new Tomb Raider but unless I missed something those games are all about platforming and this definately did it better. Shit, other than some annoyance with the game not explaining itself well enough in tutorial popups it's the best platforming I've seen in a while. Smooth, looks good, and opens up a lot of options. Opens up a lot of options for the enemy as well... Taking cover from the five enemies you just ran into is really hard when two of them are above you and have the angle to fire right into your cover. Still, great system. It's hard to believe that this game started life as an Unreal Tournament 2k4 mod.
Well... it would be except for the graphics. Now, the graphics aren't bad except in cutscenes. Seriously, the voice actor is giving some (half assed) emotion, maybe have that show on the character's face? But honestly, it's Unreal 2k4, not pretty by today's standards but not ugly. The few enviroments I explored were pretty same-y but still had a good feel to them. They were big areas with good views and it was just interesting to look around. I can't honestly complain about the graphics except in the (awful) cinematics... and even those weren't the worst I've ever seen.
The checkpoint system sucks. Fuck you too Devs, fuck you too. The Ally AI is an abomination against AI and gamers but I discovered something wonderful... if you just ignore the fuckers they don't die. Just like in gears an icon pops up saying they're down (although in Damnation the icon doesn't also function as a compass pointing you toward your dead friend. Great work there devteam, drop my ally then make it hard for me to find them!), that doesn't mean anything! You can just leave them and at the next checkpoint they're back up and ready to go. So, I cheerfuly ignored the idiots and used the (awesome) platforming to outflank enemies and do a lot of good.
It's those moments where I see what the game could have been, and it makes me sad. If the shooting had been made a lot tighter, given any coats of polish (at all), and you know... been made to even be as good as Unreal 2k4 it'd be an awesome game. Sure the story is a bit silly... at least to my eyes. Steampunk US, robot soldiers, combat drugs all awesome. Then they added bullshit native american magick. Yeah, you all know how I feel about native americans already. I thought Steampunk meant science but nooooo... gotta add mystic bullshit and native powers. Fuck that shit! Get it out of my game. The voice acting isn't "bad" but it is far from good. No good quotes like those in Gears 2 which were just so over the top they were good. The actual writing is shit. Why more studios don't hire real writers to look over the dialog I will never know.
If gamefly wasn't a monthly fee I'd be disappointed I'd even spent the money to rent this title. Gonna try co-op soon with Burne. Yeah... that'll be fun. If you can find the game for the 5 dollars it's worth... don't fucking bother. So much wasted potential.
Ya see, on Hardcore, it takes two rounds from a sniper rifle or two medium range blasts from a shotgun to kill you (one if you're right up close), and while that is wonderfully realistic I'm not playing Rainbow Six here. I am some nigh mythical badass steampunk cowboy! But it seems that physical agility and upper body strength are all that was covered in Badass training with this game since I can't shoot for shit, aiming sucks, and the screen goes black and white from damage in about half a second flat. And that's not fucking right. Did anyone playtest this and say, yeah, I think the player should be killed for just rounding a corner, that's a good idea!
Fucktards. Scale back the damage or add a "Normal" difficulty. Shit, I've seen enemies eat half a magazine of the "assault rifle" before going down... Why can't I do that? Supposedly all the enemies are using some fucked up combat drugs. And in one of the opening cinematics the main character took a vial of said drugs off of a dead enemy's belt. Why can't I start injecting that shit? Velvet Assassin gave us Morphine mode...
So... the guns suck. They're cool and interesting but they fucking suck. The "Assault Rifle" is inaccurate as hell and takes a third of the magazine to kill one enemy at close range. The Pistol is the only gun you'll ever use. The shot gun is nice... if you are up close. This rarely seems to be the case. The sniper rifle was your average sniper rifle, but since I'm not seeing any ammo crates around it's a dixie cup (use once and throw away). I found a machine pistol... it replaced my regular pistol... The two types of ammo were not interchangable... Turns out I figured out it was a machine pistol and fired so fast that I would have to reload in about five seconds. Dixie Cup! In my short play I also found a "Railroad Pistol" The name might be a bit different. Same ammo problem as the sniper rifle but you can hold the trigger to charge up the pressure and fire your shot for a lot of damage. Reminds me a lot of the Bow from Gears. (Actually this whole game reminds me a lot of Gears but instead of a really nifty cover system I have a a really nifty platforming system THAT DOES NOTHING TO STOP THE BULLETS!)
That segways really nicely into the Platforming, which is really really good. I only played the Demo of the new Tomb Raider but unless I missed something those games are all about platforming and this definately did it better. Shit, other than some annoyance with the game not explaining itself well enough in tutorial popups it's the best platforming I've seen in a while. Smooth, looks good, and opens up a lot of options. Opens up a lot of options for the enemy as well... Taking cover from the five enemies you just ran into is really hard when two of them are above you and have the angle to fire right into your cover. Still, great system. It's hard to believe that this game started life as an Unreal Tournament 2k4 mod.
Well... it would be except for the graphics. Now, the graphics aren't bad except in cutscenes. Seriously, the voice actor is giving some (half assed) emotion, maybe have that show on the character's face? But honestly, it's Unreal 2k4, not pretty by today's standards but not ugly. The few enviroments I explored were pretty same-y but still had a good feel to them. They were big areas with good views and it was just interesting to look around. I can't honestly complain about the graphics except in the (awful) cinematics... and even those weren't the worst I've ever seen.
The checkpoint system sucks. Fuck you too Devs, fuck you too. The Ally AI is an abomination against AI and gamers but I discovered something wonderful... if you just ignore the fuckers they don't die. Just like in gears an icon pops up saying they're down (although in Damnation the icon doesn't also function as a compass pointing you toward your dead friend. Great work there devteam, drop my ally then make it hard for me to find them!), that doesn't mean anything! You can just leave them and at the next checkpoint they're back up and ready to go. So, I cheerfuly ignored the idiots and used the (awesome) platforming to outflank enemies and do a lot of good.
It's those moments where I see what the game could have been, and it makes me sad. If the shooting had been made a lot tighter, given any coats of polish (at all), and you know... been made to even be as good as Unreal 2k4 it'd be an awesome game. Sure the story is a bit silly... at least to my eyes. Steampunk US, robot soldiers, combat drugs all awesome. Then they added bullshit native american magick. Yeah, you all know how I feel about native americans already. I thought Steampunk meant science but nooooo... gotta add mystic bullshit and native powers. Fuck that shit! Get it out of my game. The voice acting isn't "bad" but it is far from good. No good quotes like those in Gears 2 which were just so over the top they were good. The actual writing is shit. Why more studios don't hire real writers to look over the dialog I will never know.
If gamefly wasn't a monthly fee I'd be disappointed I'd even spent the money to rent this title. Gonna try co-op soon with Burne. Yeah... that'll be fun. If you can find the game for the 5 dollars it's worth... don't fucking bother. So much wasted potential.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
On writing
This is a short update, and part of it is stolen from my Twitter. Which, one day, I will get a goddamn Blackberry so I can update it properly. Maybe next month if I save properly.
Either way. Firstly, I saw something awesome at work. Ironically, it was in the bathroom. Someone copied the graffiti from XKCD. They fucked up the punctuation a bit but god damn, they beat me to it! Whatever glorious bastard did this, I salute you.
Secondly, I need to start writing again. Fuck rpol. Fuck people. Fuck video games (until dragon age methinks. I need a good RPG. Might replay Mass Effect soon.). I need to create something worth a damn. And I will...
Either way. Firstly, I saw something awesome at work. Ironically, it was in the bathroom. Someone copied the graffiti from XKCD. They fucked up the punctuation a bit but god damn, they beat me to it! Whatever glorious bastard did this, I salute you.
Secondly, I need to start writing again. Fuck rpol. Fuck people. Fuck video games (until dragon age methinks. I need a good RPG. Might replay Mass Effect soon.). I need to create something worth a damn. And I will...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Ah Insomnia ... Now Where's McWheat?
I’m having an interesting brain wave lately, something just plain clicking and sending me spiralling off in some random thought pattern that defies some forms of logic unless you think the same way I do … twisted and sick.
Insomnia has been plaguing me for some time now that it’s actually getting to the point where I’m up for at least a day on end now for what appears to be no reason at all. I can even take sleeping pills at double the dosage and still be like “WTF why am I not sleeping?” Granted things are known the cause trouble going to sleep but with the way this has been going I might as well be detached from reality and sitting in a padded cell waiting for General Frosty McWheat to show up. If you don’t know who Frosty McWheat is I may elaborate on him at some other time but for now let’s just say you’re better off not knowing.
I will say it’s an interesting feeling after a while of random sleep patterns, walking around feeling like one is floating in the clouds and dreamy but still somewhat connected to the world around them. I find it to be a strange feeling, interesting but I’m not getting anything done in this state. My memory functions in an odd way to the point where you could hold a whole conversation with me and I’d retain absolutely nothing unless it sounded interesting to me or was helping my train of thought.
One of the other problems with this state is I become easily prone to a variety of suggestions, some of it just gets bizarre at this point and some people have gotten me to do some rather odd things and I’m going to omit the details on the grounds that it best be left unsaid lest anyone like to repeat the acts of pain I’ve inflicted upon others. It’s interesting to see how people react when faced with the idea of cause and effect and in this state the outcome intrigues me far more for some suggestions that I’ll do things without a second thought … or even a first as has been the case before. Sometimes it’s all the more interesting to see moral dilemmas unfold with people and then you can sit back and have a good laugh as they hash it out in their heads. That’s the kind of thing I lose when I’m in the suggestive state … morality, but I do know the difference between a good idea and a bad one and will stick to the fundamentals of the perceived right and wrong from my stand point as getting arrested isn’t fun.
The fun part is that insomnia is listed as a symptom of some [usually] underlying mental problem someone has. One of those problems I thought was kind of amusing was schizophrenia and another being anxiety, both of which made me go “DUH!” Someone either of these things would be hard pressed to be able to sleep since one gives you a range of mental problems which includes multiple personality disorder. The other just makes you worry about everything under the sun and god forbid the collection people come the next morning for that bill you got in the mail today. Since I have neither I’m a bit limited in what could be wrong with me … or what’s right, either way. The only thing I can really do at this point is wait it out like I’ve been doing the last few years and hope for the best.
Insomnia has been plaguing me for some time now that it’s actually getting to the point where I’m up for at least a day on end now for what appears to be no reason at all. I can even take sleeping pills at double the dosage and still be like “WTF why am I not sleeping?” Granted things are known the cause trouble going to sleep but with the way this has been going I might as well be detached from reality and sitting in a padded cell waiting for General Frosty McWheat to show up. If you don’t know who Frosty McWheat is I may elaborate on him at some other time but for now let’s just say you’re better off not knowing.
I will say it’s an interesting feeling after a while of random sleep patterns, walking around feeling like one is floating in the clouds and dreamy but still somewhat connected to the world around them. I find it to be a strange feeling, interesting but I’m not getting anything done in this state. My memory functions in an odd way to the point where you could hold a whole conversation with me and I’d retain absolutely nothing unless it sounded interesting to me or was helping my train of thought.
One of the other problems with this state is I become easily prone to a variety of suggestions, some of it just gets bizarre at this point and some people have gotten me to do some rather odd things and I’m going to omit the details on the grounds that it best be left unsaid lest anyone like to repeat the acts of pain I’ve inflicted upon others. It’s interesting to see how people react when faced with the idea of cause and effect and in this state the outcome intrigues me far more for some suggestions that I’ll do things without a second thought … or even a first as has been the case before. Sometimes it’s all the more interesting to see moral dilemmas unfold with people and then you can sit back and have a good laugh as they hash it out in their heads. That’s the kind of thing I lose when I’m in the suggestive state … morality, but I do know the difference between a good idea and a bad one and will stick to the fundamentals of the perceived right and wrong from my stand point as getting arrested isn’t fun.
The fun part is that insomnia is listed as a symptom of some [usually] underlying mental problem someone has. One of those problems I thought was kind of amusing was schizophrenia and another being anxiety, both of which made me go “DUH!” Someone either of these things would be hard pressed to be able to sleep since one gives you a range of mental problems which includes multiple personality disorder. The other just makes you worry about everything under the sun and god forbid the collection people come the next morning for that bill you got in the mail today. Since I have neither I’m a bit limited in what could be wrong with me … or what’s right, either way. The only thing I can really do at this point is wait it out like I’ve been doing the last few years and hope for the best.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Man it's been a while...
I always feel bad when I look at my toolbar and see the icon for this blog and I feel bad that I really don't have much to say. I guess it's because I feel I should be posting something of substance on here. Other times I have to remind myself that blogging (and to a greater extent Twittering) was created to tell people about every little that you are thinking or doing, regardless of it's relevance to... well anything. So with that in mind here are some things.
I do not like to pack, it's not like it is really hard for me. I rarely have that much furniture to move. The problem is that I like to get stuff done when I can so this often results in having half my stuff packed weeks in advance, and the other half packed a few days before the move. I'm not sure if this is normal as I have never really been involved in any large scale (such as a family and the contents of a house) so I can't really be sure if this is a problem.
Either way I will soon be at my new apartment, and for those of you that don't know it I will living with my girlfriend of 3 years (4 years in October). When I first brought up this idea to my friends and coworkers I got a lot of unexpected responses. The stereotypical reply I always assumed would be that this is a bad idea, kills the romance, etc... But most of the people I have talked to, namely those that already see their girlfriends on a regular (day to day) basis or basically live with them anyway, thought this was all well and good. I was pleasantly surprised by these responses.
Now to the festering meat of what has been occupying my thoughts lately. For those of your I have not already excitedly told, I am working on writing a book. I say I am working on writing it because at this point that is about as far as I have gotten. I am stilling mapping out the events of the story. This is taking some time, since basically the first 2/3 of the story are based on the events of an online roleplaying game I was a major player in, and the last third is of my own creation. I could go on and on about why this is the case but that is another post/rant altogether mostly cause it deals with a lot of stuff outside that particular game. None the less I am still using the events of the game before it basically ended and as such I am constantly pouring through the posts of the game to make sure I am covering the points of the story I wanted to cover.
I have ideas for how I want the conclusion to go but the more I talk about them I realize they are just that, ideas, often scattered and disjointed from a form that resembles storytelling. Part of the problem is my own. really all the problem is my own, but that too is not the point. I am used to taking the fragmented and random ideas that pop into my head and using my friends as a sounding board to help me sort them out and in this case I am trying to do this basically on my own, using my friends for final editing. In short, I want to write this book myself. Not so much to be able to claim credit, but mostly to prove to myself that I can.
I have over the course of my life had many ideas for stories (mostly short ones) but never had the patience or care to work them out into something resembling a proper story. With this I want to see if I can follow this through to the end. I may or may not bother with ever publishing this thing, but if I can get to that point then I will have made my point to myself. This is something I am doing with my spare time, it's not my job, I won't delude myself for a minute into thinking that I could write for a living, but for me it is something I want to do and hopefully that will be enough.
So long for now, I may try and get my other rant up soon.
I do not like to pack, it's not like it is really hard for me. I rarely have that much furniture to move. The problem is that I like to get stuff done when I can so this often results in having half my stuff packed weeks in advance, and the other half packed a few days before the move. I'm not sure if this is normal as I have never really been involved in any large scale (such as a family and the contents of a house) so I can't really be sure if this is a problem.
Either way I will soon be at my new apartment, and for those of you that don't know it I will living with my girlfriend of 3 years (4 years in October). When I first brought up this idea to my friends and coworkers I got a lot of unexpected responses. The stereotypical reply I always assumed would be that this is a bad idea, kills the romance, etc... But most of the people I have talked to, namely those that already see their girlfriends on a regular (day to day) basis or basically live with them anyway, thought this was all well and good. I was pleasantly surprised by these responses.
Now to the festering meat of what has been occupying my thoughts lately. For those of your I have not already excitedly told, I am working on writing a book. I say I am working on writing it because at this point that is about as far as I have gotten. I am stilling mapping out the events of the story. This is taking some time, since basically the first 2/3 of the story are based on the events of an online roleplaying game I was a major player in, and the last third is of my own creation. I could go on and on about why this is the case but that is another post/rant altogether mostly cause it deals with a lot of stuff outside that particular game. None the less I am still using the events of the game before it basically ended and as such I am constantly pouring through the posts of the game to make sure I am covering the points of the story I wanted to cover.
I have ideas for how I want the conclusion to go but the more I talk about them I realize they are just that, ideas, often scattered and disjointed from a form that resembles storytelling. Part of the problem is my own. really all the problem is my own, but that too is not the point. I am used to taking the fragmented and random ideas that pop into my head and using my friends as a sounding board to help me sort them out and in this case I am trying to do this basically on my own, using my friends for final editing. In short, I want to write this book myself. Not so much to be able to claim credit, but mostly to prove to myself that I can.
I have over the course of my life had many ideas for stories (mostly short ones) but never had the patience or care to work them out into something resembling a proper story. With this I want to see if I can follow this through to the end. I may or may not bother with ever publishing this thing, but if I can get to that point then I will have made my point to myself. This is something I am doing with my spare time, it's not my job, I won't delude myself for a minute into thinking that I could write for a living, but for me it is something I want to do and hopefully that will be enough.
So long for now, I may try and get my other rant up soon.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
JRPGs
I was just reading a very interesting article on gamespy (http://www.gamespy.com/articles/977/977228p1.html) and reading the comments section I found myself nodding. Wada said "Japanese games makers excel at complex role-playing adventure games" and... I disagree.
I feel that they did excel in that field, once upon a time, but not anymore. I look in at modern RPGs, both western and Japanese and the JRPGs are just unplayable. They tell a story but offer no freedom to the player. It could be argued that they offer less freedom to maintain the storyline but I don't think that it's at all necessary. KOTOR is the perfect example of a very strong story driven game that still gave the player choices, still let them make the storyline thier own. From character appearance to dialog. You just can't do that in a JRPG. Thus I find myself staring at a character I just don't like half the time. I won't sink 40 hours on a character I don't like and his story, I have better things to do.
The most recent JRPGs to my mind, Lost Odyssey and the Last Remnant were both... unplayable. Part of that is the art design which I have always critized in japenese games. Frankly most everything looks fucking rediculious and impractical as hell. it's offensive to me. But... the gameplay. It doesn't seem to have evolved any. You still have the invisible party on one screen that all suddenly appear for the turn based combat sequences. I have nothing against turn based combat but... it feels tired to me these days. There's no dynamic to it, no enivorment, combat happens in a vaccum basically and that annoys me. Hell, Last Remnant combat wasn't as annoying as say, the main character (who annoyed the shit out of me within 10 minutes. Honestly, I could not hate him more) started combat, every combat, by saying "Let's kick some A" because gods know you can't say "ass." Where is the option for him to shut the fuck up?
I don't identify with the character or even like him. His dialog just makes me angry. Most western RPGs these days give you dialog options. KOTOR, Mass Effect, Fallout 3. I vividly recall the start of Last Remnant where the main character acted like a disrespectful prole to a local Prince who just saved his ass. It made me angry. I slogged through it and found out about the lack of an autosave and bugs with the save game system the hard way and haven't put the game near my console since. I felt abused. Those same bugs wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't already hate the main character. (Let's kick some A!)
But these games are complex... I'll give him that. The options menu, the stupid fucking inventory and upgrade systems, the convoluted classes and just stupid numbers. Ugh. The truth of the matter is that when a player's level is capped at over 100 then there is something wrong to my mind. Like Disgea... wanna grind up to level 99999? Or whatever the stupidly large number is? FUCK NO! Nor do I want to see an enemy with several million HP. Shit, you can have challenge and feel like you've built up a strong character without breaking into the tens of thousands for damage numbers or HP, or any other bloody number (other than the in-game currency). At a certain point the math involved in it just disgusts me. I don't want to deal with a 10 million HP boss enemy regularly, it's just stupid. Just throwing numbers around isn't a challenge. ... Although I suppose that *is* the only way to challenge a player in a JRPG.
In Fallout 3, in the latest piece of DLC (Downloadable content) they managed to challenge (briefly) even my high level character. They did it by taking away all my hard earned weapons for some time and throwing me into a hostile enviroment. It left me feeling exposed and made for a great bit of gameplay. Sure, I killed everything and eventually found enough equipment that the loss of my old gear didn't matter. Although that was close to the time I was going to get my own gear back anyway. heh. The point is that they were looking for a way to make the game challenging without just throwing stupid numbers of enemies or enemies so strong that it's silly at the player and I feel that succeeded to a degree. Not so much an option in your average JRPG. Nor is stealth usually... nor a social focused character. It's disappointing.
Innovation has passed by the RPG industry in Japan. I couldn't be happier honestly, more and more good games are coming out of western studios. Maybe the japs will look at these innovations and add some freedom and choice to their games... but... I doubt it. Ah well.
I feel that they did excel in that field, once upon a time, but not anymore. I look in at modern RPGs, both western and Japanese and the JRPGs are just unplayable. They tell a story but offer no freedom to the player. It could be argued that they offer less freedom to maintain the storyline but I don't think that it's at all necessary. KOTOR is the perfect example of a very strong story driven game that still gave the player choices, still let them make the storyline thier own. From character appearance to dialog. You just can't do that in a JRPG. Thus I find myself staring at a character I just don't like half the time. I won't sink 40 hours on a character I don't like and his story, I have better things to do.
The most recent JRPGs to my mind, Lost Odyssey and the Last Remnant were both... unplayable. Part of that is the art design which I have always critized in japenese games. Frankly most everything looks fucking rediculious and impractical as hell. it's offensive to me. But... the gameplay. It doesn't seem to have evolved any. You still have the invisible party on one screen that all suddenly appear for the turn based combat sequences. I have nothing against turn based combat but... it feels tired to me these days. There's no dynamic to it, no enivorment, combat happens in a vaccum basically and that annoys me. Hell, Last Remnant combat wasn't as annoying as say, the main character (who annoyed the shit out of me within 10 minutes. Honestly, I could not hate him more) started combat, every combat, by saying "Let's kick some A" because gods know you can't say "ass." Where is the option for him to shut the fuck up?
I don't identify with the character or even like him. His dialog just makes me angry. Most western RPGs these days give you dialog options. KOTOR, Mass Effect, Fallout 3. I vividly recall the start of Last Remnant where the main character acted like a disrespectful prole to a local Prince who just saved his ass. It made me angry. I slogged through it and found out about the lack of an autosave and bugs with the save game system the hard way and haven't put the game near my console since. I felt abused. Those same bugs wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't already hate the main character. (Let's kick some A!)
But these games are complex... I'll give him that. The options menu, the stupid fucking inventory and upgrade systems, the convoluted classes and just stupid numbers. Ugh. The truth of the matter is that when a player's level is capped at over 100 then there is something wrong to my mind. Like Disgea... wanna grind up to level 99999? Or whatever the stupidly large number is? FUCK NO! Nor do I want to see an enemy with several million HP. Shit, you can have challenge and feel like you've built up a strong character without breaking into the tens of thousands for damage numbers or HP, or any other bloody number (other than the in-game currency). At a certain point the math involved in it just disgusts me. I don't want to deal with a 10 million HP boss enemy regularly, it's just stupid. Just throwing numbers around isn't a challenge. ... Although I suppose that *is* the only way to challenge a player in a JRPG.
In Fallout 3, in the latest piece of DLC (Downloadable content) they managed to challenge (briefly) even my high level character. They did it by taking away all my hard earned weapons for some time and throwing me into a hostile enviroment. It left me feeling exposed and made for a great bit of gameplay. Sure, I killed everything and eventually found enough equipment that the loss of my old gear didn't matter. Although that was close to the time I was going to get my own gear back anyway. heh. The point is that they were looking for a way to make the game challenging without just throwing stupid numbers of enemies or enemies so strong that it's silly at the player and I feel that succeeded to a degree. Not so much an option in your average JRPG. Nor is stealth usually... nor a social focused character. It's disappointing.
Innovation has passed by the RPG industry in Japan. I couldn't be happier honestly, more and more good games are coming out of western studios. Maybe the japs will look at these innovations and add some freedom and choice to their games... but... I doubt it. Ah well.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Repo! The Genetic Opera
Just dropping in with a short blurb. Almost a tweet. I have just finished watching Repo! The Genetic Opera. It is far and away the most unique thing I have seen in ages. It was... Wonderful. The title is a good clue as to the content, Repo is a musical, an opera of the finest type. The cast shines, even Paris Hilton (sigh. To think I would ever say that). Doctor Horrible made me sit up and take notice of musicals again, ones that aren't wearing a Disney label, but Repo!... Repo! is what will keep me singing for weeks.
If you have the opportunity, buy this movie. And the soundtrack. (Gods know I will as soon as payday rolls around). You could rent it, but that doesn't nearly do the movie justice.
If you have the opportunity, buy this movie. And the soundtrack. (Gods know I will as soon as payday rolls around). You could rent it, but that doesn't nearly do the movie justice.
Monday, April 13, 2009
My Deal With MMOs
Every now and then I'm forced to remember why I prefer the regular RPGs as opposed to these MMOs that most people basically live their lives through anymore. I'm not saying that they're particularly a bad thing but I am saying that the good intentions behind them have bred the breed of gamer I like to address as the fucktard population of gaming.
It basically starts out as a normal game, sometimes you can take things seriously because heck, you've put a lot of work into getting at something and someone else takes that one item that you've spent several hours [or days] on trying to obtain. I can understand the anger and frustration that lies behind some fucktard bullshitting you like that and I'm happy to say that's a normal reaction. but it's the people that DO it that need a lesson as well as an ass whupping because they've just meandered along and basically come to terms with it being ok to jack whatever they can when it best suits their needs. I'd really like to meet some of these dickish 12 year olds and show them what I really think of them with the proper application of force up their arse with an industrial strength steel rod to ensure that they'd have a hard time sitting for long periods of time and go out and get some exercise.
The next portion of these fucktards are the people that alienate their friends due to the idea that because they don't play the same MMO you do that you're not worth the time to even talk to. While your former friends are now better off without you, you suddenly have only your online guild to turn to in times of need and you'd better pray some live nearby in the event your house burns down because otherwise you're fucked. You may wonder where all your other friends have gone in that kind of situation but you have only yourself to blame. I'll pick on the World of Warcraft idiots because most of the ones I know will surf the online forums when they can't play and yammer on and on about their epic level Death Knight while those of us that don't play it are doomed to listen to your incessent babbling and pray that the gods will save us by having a semi-truck burst through the wall like the Kool Aide man and smish you like the annoying twat you are. If we've expressed that we don't play then it's most likely a good probability that we don't want to hear it. Fuck your Death Knight.
Also amongst the WoWtwats and the moronic 12 year olds we have the glitchers. Many MMOs have glitches and many of them aren't addressed. I'll take the example from Exteel where if you have a sword and you've jumped you can attack and if an opponent is close enough you close in automatically. The Bunny Hopping talentless n00bs have confused the term Dragooning with this which is wrong. Dragooning is done with a lance and you boost into the air much higher than just jumping, dropping down on your opponent. Dragooning takes skill, Bunny Hopping takes n00bs ... or nubs ... either one really since neither have any real skills other than cheap shots and button mashing.
Another problem with MMOs are bots, third party programs making use of a character and basically leveling it while you're AFK. While they never ever pick up drops they're annoying because anything mobs near them are fair game and can lead to kill stealing which can be annoying when you're trying to get x amount of mobs and the bastard keeps mowing them down before you get to them.
Lastly you have the player killers and these guys are dicks. Granted if I felt like I could get away with offing whoever I might try it once or twice but it'd never be an everyday occurance for me. In a PVP server it's expected but when I goto PVE servers I expect to be able to level in peace and not have to worry about PKers 50 levels higher than me running by and one hitting me in the middle of my training area. Fuck off and goto the PVP servers you wankers and leave me alone. If you can' deal with the hardcore PVPers then go play another game or level up and get better gear.
It basically starts out as a normal game, sometimes you can take things seriously because heck, you've put a lot of work into getting at something and someone else takes that one item that you've spent several hours [or days] on trying to obtain. I can understand the anger and frustration that lies behind some fucktard bullshitting you like that and I'm happy to say that's a normal reaction. but it's the people that DO it that need a lesson as well as an ass whupping because they've just meandered along and basically come to terms with it being ok to jack whatever they can when it best suits their needs. I'd really like to meet some of these dickish 12 year olds and show them what I really think of them with the proper application of force up their arse with an industrial strength steel rod to ensure that they'd have a hard time sitting for long periods of time and go out and get some exercise.
The next portion of these fucktards are the people that alienate their friends due to the idea that because they don't play the same MMO you do that you're not worth the time to even talk to. While your former friends are now better off without you, you suddenly have only your online guild to turn to in times of need and you'd better pray some live nearby in the event your house burns down because otherwise you're fucked. You may wonder where all your other friends have gone in that kind of situation but you have only yourself to blame. I'll pick on the World of Warcraft idiots because most of the ones I know will surf the online forums when they can't play and yammer on and on about their epic level Death Knight while those of us that don't play it are doomed to listen to your incessent babbling and pray that the gods will save us by having a semi-truck burst through the wall like the Kool Aide man and smish you like the annoying twat you are. If we've expressed that we don't play then it's most likely a good probability that we don't want to hear it. Fuck your Death Knight.
Also amongst the WoWtwats and the moronic 12 year olds we have the glitchers. Many MMOs have glitches and many of them aren't addressed. I'll take the example from Exteel where if you have a sword and you've jumped you can attack and if an opponent is close enough you close in automatically. The Bunny Hopping talentless n00bs have confused the term Dragooning with this which is wrong. Dragooning is done with a lance and you boost into the air much higher than just jumping, dropping down on your opponent. Dragooning takes skill, Bunny Hopping takes n00bs ... or nubs ... either one really since neither have any real skills other than cheap shots and button mashing.
Another problem with MMOs are bots, third party programs making use of a character and basically leveling it while you're AFK. While they never ever pick up drops they're annoying because anything mobs near them are fair game and can lead to kill stealing which can be annoying when you're trying to get x amount of mobs and the bastard keeps mowing them down before you get to them.
Lastly you have the player killers and these guys are dicks. Granted if I felt like I could get away with offing whoever I might try it once or twice but it'd never be an everyday occurance for me. In a PVP server it's expected but when I goto PVE servers I expect to be able to level in peace and not have to worry about PKers 50 levels higher than me running by and one hitting me in the middle of my training area. Fuck off and goto the PVP servers you wankers and leave me alone. If you can' deal with the hardcore PVPers then go play another game or level up and get better gear.
Testing, Testing, 1...2...3...
Most just throwing this post up to test out embedding videos. That and the fact that I love Zero Punctuation and Unskippable and I wish more crossover events could be this fulfilling.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Yelling From the Mountain Top: Smile for the camera
I decided to get some food while I was out and about today and since one of my errands took me to an area where the handiest thing was and Au Bon Pain so that is where I went. I asked for a steak sandwich and was directed over to a warmer to get a sandwich from there. Now I could go on for hours about how this is not quality, nor is this very good service, but hell it's a franchise what did I really expect (that's a whole different rant altogether). So I take my sandwich and proceed to eat it and I have to admit, for what it is it wasn't really bad, sure there was too much jalapeno for me to finish it let alone enjoy it after a few minutes, but it was palitable.
Now as I sat there eating my mediocre sandwich I am looking over the menu behind the counter and more specifically the pictures of the food and that got me thinking. Why are those pistures such good advertising. We all know that the food will never look that nice, after all the food in those ads is crafted by the exectutive chefs of the company and photgraphed by professionals. it's something I've never been able to get a really satisfactory answer for so it continues to bug me.
Now as I sat there eating my mediocre sandwich I am looking over the menu behind the counter and more specifically the pictures of the food and that got me thinking. Why are those pistures such good advertising. We all know that the food will never look that nice, after all the food in those ads is crafted by the exectutive chefs of the company and photgraphed by professionals. it's something I've never been able to get a really satisfactory answer for so it continues to bug me.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Don't make them like they used to.
I realize this is a heavily trod ground but seriously, what happened to good reliable craftsmanship. Outsourcing and cheap buying has let us not only reliant on other countries to produce our goods but on their shitty products.
Case and the source of this rant is the belt clip for my latest cellphone. About 2 weeks ago I bought a plastic belt clip and on Wednesday a very small part of the bit that holds the phone in place broke off. Now I am none to happy with this as I'm sure you can imagine. But on many levels it doesn't matter, after all since it is still under warranty I can bring it into the Verizon store and get a new one for free. I did so yesterday and when I got to work all was fine. I brushed up against something at work and it seems that my phone snagged on something, cause part of the area where the clip meets the section that the phone fits into broke off...
Okay fine, the clip still works and I am sure that I was being too rough on the damn thing, but still I got it that fucking morning. Seriously what the bleeding fuck! But what the fuck ever, the thing still works so I decide to keep wearing it and it holds up... for the rest of the night.
As I am getting out of my car at home I feel my phone snag a bit on my seat cover and when I reach for my phone I find that the belt clip has broken again... in the same motherfucking place that the FIRST ONE BROKE!
I mean obviously I can go and get another one but do I even want to at this point. I liked having a clip cause it means I don't have to leave my phone in my pocket (it feels uncomfortable during service) or out in the open (in a kitchen). but do I really want to potentially be replacing this thing every couple of weeks.
Seriously what the fuck.
Case and the source of this rant is the belt clip for my latest cellphone. About 2 weeks ago I bought a plastic belt clip and on Wednesday a very small part of the bit that holds the phone in place broke off. Now I am none to happy with this as I'm sure you can imagine. But on many levels it doesn't matter, after all since it is still under warranty I can bring it into the Verizon store and get a new one for free. I did so yesterday and when I got to work all was fine. I brushed up against something at work and it seems that my phone snagged on something, cause part of the area where the clip meets the section that the phone fits into broke off...
Okay fine, the clip still works and I am sure that I was being too rough on the damn thing, but still I got it that fucking morning. Seriously what the bleeding fuck! But what the fuck ever, the thing still works so I decide to keep wearing it and it holds up... for the rest of the night.
As I am getting out of my car at home I feel my phone snag a bit on my seat cover and when I reach for my phone I find that the belt clip has broken again... in the same motherfucking place that the FIRST ONE BROKE!
I mean obviously I can go and get another one but do I even want to at this point. I liked having a clip cause it means I don't have to leave my phone in my pocket (it feels uncomfortable during service) or out in the open (in a kitchen). but do I really want to potentially be replacing this thing every couple of weeks.
Seriously what the fuck.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Modern Parenting ... wtf?
For those of us that remember [not too long ago] that back in the early 90's there was a sense of structure for how parenting worked. Your child got out of line you scolded them or punished them based upon how bad they were. You were forced to show respect to your parents in order for them to show respect back which is a pretty simple and easy to follow concept. You want to be treated older you treat those higher up on the scale with the right amount of respect. In fact one thing this brings to mind is the cartoon show "The Boondocks" and dear old grandpa in the supermarket passing this lady and a disobedient child that's throwing a tantrum because he's not getting his way. I fecking LOVE the shit out of the beginning of that episode because he shows her how to discipline her child with a good old fashioned belt whipping. The point of the statement in that is discipline your kids. I see too many instances these days where kids have the upper hand on adults because people have gotten all bent out of shape. You can't even so much as yell at your kid in the store for fear of someone calling child services. I'm not kidding, someone really did that one day.
Nowadays you can't even spank your child for fear of someone saying that it's physical abuse towards a minor. So what to people do? They sit their kids in front of the TV or buy them what they want to shut them up faster. Apathy set in and parents don't really give a shit about how well their kid is growing up and if they've been taught manners. Most kids these days will blame anything they can on someone else even if it's because of their own shortcomings. Bullshit ecxuses for shitty behavior and even worse ... we let them get away with it. I maintain that some of the worst parenting that could be done is letting the kids rule you. Parents either don't give a shit or are too afraid of being told their childs being taken by child services because of a bullshit phone call.
Teenagers are the worst progression of human life though, supposedly all rebellious and needing their so called individuality when really all they do is goto the mall and conform to whatever the latest subculture trend is. I'm not even going to get in to that though, not my place and I'm just not in the enjoyment of fashion trends anyways. I wear what I feel comfortable in and not because it cost me $35 for a shirt [why do people PAY for things like that? Oh I got a $35 Nike shirt hurr hurr ... retards ...] I wear it because it's cheap and it fits and I DON'T look like a walking billboard. "But everyone else is wearing it!" "So? If they all jumped off a bridge to their deaths would that mean you'd do it too?"
I'd also like to point out that kids these days expect to get anything they want from anyone. Say you're walking down the sidewalk or hallway or something, they're not looking and they bump into you. Their immediate response is "Watch where you're going jackass" to which my response is a middle finger and a resounding "Sod off" as I continue to walk on and mind my own business. The point is though that where one would normally say "Sorry" or "Excuse me" it's now placing the blame directly on the person you walked into. Amusingly enough though if it's the wrong person, those kids either run or get trounced.
But really instill some respect into those bastard children and make them aware that their actions have consequenses because otherwise you're just a parental door mat for their amusement. Beat them.
Nowadays you can't even spank your child for fear of someone saying that it's physical abuse towards a minor. So what to people do? They sit their kids in front of the TV or buy them what they want to shut them up faster. Apathy set in and parents don't really give a shit about how well their kid is growing up and if they've been taught manners. Most kids these days will blame anything they can on someone else even if it's because of their own shortcomings. Bullshit ecxuses for shitty behavior and even worse ... we let them get away with it. I maintain that some of the worst parenting that could be done is letting the kids rule you. Parents either don't give a shit or are too afraid of being told their childs being taken by child services because of a bullshit phone call.
Teenagers are the worst progression of human life though, supposedly all rebellious and needing their so called individuality when really all they do is goto the mall and conform to whatever the latest subculture trend is. I'm not even going to get in to that though, not my place and I'm just not in the enjoyment of fashion trends anyways. I wear what I feel comfortable in and not because it cost me $35 for a shirt [why do people PAY for things like that? Oh I got a $35 Nike shirt hurr hurr ... retards ...] I wear it because it's cheap and it fits and I DON'T look like a walking billboard. "But everyone else is wearing it!" "So? If they all jumped off a bridge to their deaths would that mean you'd do it too?"
I'd also like to point out that kids these days expect to get anything they want from anyone. Say you're walking down the sidewalk or hallway or something, they're not looking and they bump into you. Their immediate response is "Watch where you're going jackass" to which my response is a middle finger and a resounding "Sod off" as I continue to walk on and mind my own business. The point is though that where one would normally say "Sorry" or "Excuse me" it's now placing the blame directly on the person you walked into. Amusingly enough though if it's the wrong person, those kids either run or get trounced.
But really instill some respect into those bastard children and make them aware that their actions have consequenses because otherwise you're just a parental door mat for their amusement. Beat them.
The Mall Files, part one
It's clear by now that I work in a shopping mall yes? Good. Now let's be clear, my jobs at the mall generally keep me pretty isolated from the general population. Modern teenagers are borderline illiterate unless sparkly vampires are involved somewhere. So help me god I heard a teenage girl talk scornfully about another girl saying “She reads like... four books a month.” Possibly the figure was less than four. But... alas. The unwashed masses are idiots, we already knew that. So I generally don't get the full “mall experience” since I'm safely tucked away in Borders.
But, on the other hand, I work closing shifts, sometimes even on Friday nights. Now, I'm not exactly sure why, but Friday nights are the worst. Hordes of teenagers descend upon the mall. They walk the mall in packs, the smallest in groups of 4-5 ranging to groups of around 30. If only I was joking. God how I hate them. Saturdays aren't as bad... still awful... but not nearly as bad. The little bastards arrive far earlier. I've learned, on Friday the very first teens are there around 1530, around 1700 they begin to arrive in force, by 1800 no sane adults remain. I know for a fact that there are groups that do nothing but pace the mall and who have no money to buy anything. Maybe a bottle of soda, maybe.
So modern teenagers are fucking retarded. Twilight proves it, modern “music,” and oh god the clothing. Who the fuck lets a young man out of the house wearing a black latex dress liberally coated with chains? Now, I've got no problems with the fetish scene, shit I don't even have problems with a man in drag. Even in public. (I've been to Provincetown. I may be a racist but I've got nothing against people with different sexual orientation from me) HOWEVER, as with most things I'm tolerant about. I'll tolerate it or ignore it in adults. In a kid who is probably not even in Highschool? Nope. I don't give a shit about tolerance. Dress like you care about yourself and maybe one day want a job. Going out dressed in latex is great if you're heading to a club, not when you're going to the mall or out to eat or nearly anywhere else.
To my mind, if you're going to leave the house, you should dress like you want to be respected. Now, I'm almost always in business casual even if I have black jeans rather than proper slacks. Sure, that's not always necessary... but if you go out to shop or out to eat in shit that belongs in a fetish club? Barely even deserve contempt. Same with wearing your pants around your knees, same with a girl wearing what amounts to panties and calling them shorts. I won't treat you like a slut or expect you to act like one just because you dress like one... but to my mind you don't respect yourself and I really don't feel the need to show you anything other than contempt.
You know, I can get over the fact that teens are retarded, dress and act like idiots, and generally don't even deserve my time. I like to bitch about it, but I can get over it. What I can't get over is the parents. Yeah... dropping your kid off at the mall with 20 bucks for food or what the fuck ever and then driving off... that's good parenting. Sure, the fuckers are driving away all of the mall's legitimate business and don't buy a damn thing... we love to look after them.
I work there, I talk to parents and other adults on Friday nights. More than once I've made a point of asking why they would come on Friday night. Most express shock and fear at conditions inside. The majority vow never to come back again on a Friday. That's not right. No one over the age of say, 23, likes going to the mall on that night. 'least no one I've ever spoken with. That fucking sucks for everyone involved.
The real issue here, is the parents. If parents stayed with their kids they wouldn't cause problems. Wouldn't fight (although the fights are goddamn HILARIOUS! Ever seen a couple of 12 year olds have a messy break up fight? I wanted popcorn!) or make a mess out of the place. But no, that's too much like work. So they just drive up to the door at around 6, drop the kids off, and come back around 9. Fuckers. Can't stand to look after your kids? Use protection, get an abortion, just don't have the fucking kids. You obviously shouldn't have had them. Yes, your teenage bastards are annoying, I know that better than you. Act like an adult and keep an eye on them.
Here's a newsflash, I'm paid less than ten dollars an hour. I am NOT paid well enough to be a babysitter. I'm also not going to go out of my way to look after your kids. At all. You want to look around and send your (young) kids into the kids section at Borders? Go ahead, but let's be very clear. Pedophiles do hang out at malls, sometimes even work there (bastards. I'm fine with a whole lot of fetishes amongst consenting adults. That's the key, consenting adults). Yeah, we've had that, luckily the police caught him. If you don't want to look after your kids, you shouldn't have had any. And really, if your kids are younger than say, 14-15 and you're dropping them off at the mall unsupervised then I really would like to talk to Social Services about you. And that does happen.
See, I know the security guys, they're great people. Understaffed as hell, underpaid, and definitely unappreciated. One of them told me his goal is to see at least one teen leave the mall in handcuffs every single Friday night. Most weeks he succeeds. I shake his hand for this and congratulate him. It's rather amusing to see kids get escorted out and given anything from a six month ban to a lifetime ban. And if the little fucks are young enough (and sometimes they are) DSS gets involved. Those nights make me smile, I may not usually be a witness but it does please me!
I hate your kids, they get injured? I laugh. They get arrested and I cheer. They aren't my responsibility and with all the shit they do I more than hate them. Cut this shit out and act like fucking adults. Take care of your responsibilities. Oh, and to the parents to braved a FUCKING BLIZZARD to drop their kids off at the Mall (which did in fact close early because of how bad conditions were) and leave them with us. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKERS! I want you to die, slowly, in a car fire hopefully.
But, on the other hand, I work closing shifts, sometimes even on Friday nights. Now, I'm not exactly sure why, but Friday nights are the worst. Hordes of teenagers descend upon the mall. They walk the mall in packs, the smallest in groups of 4-5 ranging to groups of around 30. If only I was joking. God how I hate them. Saturdays aren't as bad... still awful... but not nearly as bad. The little bastards arrive far earlier. I've learned, on Friday the very first teens are there around 1530, around 1700 they begin to arrive in force, by 1800 no sane adults remain. I know for a fact that there are groups that do nothing but pace the mall and who have no money to buy anything. Maybe a bottle of soda, maybe.
So modern teenagers are fucking retarded. Twilight proves it, modern “music,” and oh god the clothing. Who the fuck lets a young man out of the house wearing a black latex dress liberally coated with chains? Now, I've got no problems with the fetish scene, shit I don't even have problems with a man in drag. Even in public. (I've been to Provincetown. I may be a racist but I've got nothing against people with different sexual orientation from me) HOWEVER, as with most things I'm tolerant about. I'll tolerate it or ignore it in adults. In a kid who is probably not even in Highschool? Nope. I don't give a shit about tolerance. Dress like you care about yourself and maybe one day want a job. Going out dressed in latex is great if you're heading to a club, not when you're going to the mall or out to eat or nearly anywhere else.
To my mind, if you're going to leave the house, you should dress like you want to be respected. Now, I'm almost always in business casual even if I have black jeans rather than proper slacks. Sure, that's not always necessary... but if you go out to shop or out to eat in shit that belongs in a fetish club? Barely even deserve contempt. Same with wearing your pants around your knees, same with a girl wearing what amounts to panties and calling them shorts. I won't treat you like a slut or expect you to act like one just because you dress like one... but to my mind you don't respect yourself and I really don't feel the need to show you anything other than contempt.
You know, I can get over the fact that teens are retarded, dress and act like idiots, and generally don't even deserve my time. I like to bitch about it, but I can get over it. What I can't get over is the parents. Yeah... dropping your kid off at the mall with 20 bucks for food or what the fuck ever and then driving off... that's good parenting. Sure, the fuckers are driving away all of the mall's legitimate business and don't buy a damn thing... we love to look after them.
I work there, I talk to parents and other adults on Friday nights. More than once I've made a point of asking why they would come on Friday night. Most express shock and fear at conditions inside. The majority vow never to come back again on a Friday. That's not right. No one over the age of say, 23, likes going to the mall on that night. 'least no one I've ever spoken with. That fucking sucks for everyone involved.
The real issue here, is the parents. If parents stayed with their kids they wouldn't cause problems. Wouldn't fight (although the fights are goddamn HILARIOUS! Ever seen a couple of 12 year olds have a messy break up fight? I wanted popcorn!) or make a mess out of the place. But no, that's too much like work. So they just drive up to the door at around 6, drop the kids off, and come back around 9. Fuckers. Can't stand to look after your kids? Use protection, get an abortion, just don't have the fucking kids. You obviously shouldn't have had them. Yes, your teenage bastards are annoying, I know that better than you. Act like an adult and keep an eye on them.
Here's a newsflash, I'm paid less than ten dollars an hour. I am NOT paid well enough to be a babysitter. I'm also not going to go out of my way to look after your kids. At all. You want to look around and send your (young) kids into the kids section at Borders? Go ahead, but let's be very clear. Pedophiles do hang out at malls, sometimes even work there (bastards. I'm fine with a whole lot of fetishes amongst consenting adults. That's the key, consenting adults). Yeah, we've had that, luckily the police caught him. If you don't want to look after your kids, you shouldn't have had any. And really, if your kids are younger than say, 14-15 and you're dropping them off at the mall unsupervised then I really would like to talk to Social Services about you. And that does happen.
See, I know the security guys, they're great people. Understaffed as hell, underpaid, and definitely unappreciated. One of them told me his goal is to see at least one teen leave the mall in handcuffs every single Friday night. Most weeks he succeeds. I shake his hand for this and congratulate him. It's rather amusing to see kids get escorted out and given anything from a six month ban to a lifetime ban. And if the little fucks are young enough (and sometimes they are) DSS gets involved. Those nights make me smile, I may not usually be a witness but it does please me!
I hate your kids, they get injured? I laugh. They get arrested and I cheer. They aren't my responsibility and with all the shit they do I more than hate them. Cut this shit out and act like fucking adults. Take care of your responsibilities. Oh, and to the parents to braved a FUCKING BLIZZARD to drop their kids off at the Mall (which did in fact close early because of how bad conditions were) and leave them with us. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKERS! I want you to die, slowly, in a car fire hopefully.
Is trust really so hard.
In talking with many of my coworkers and mates over the years it occurs to me that the biggest necessity and problem in relationships is trust. Now to all you clever blokes this might not be an earth shattering revelation, but it still seems that I hear a lot about it so I feel like writing about it.
Now I am not going to sit here and ignorantly suggest that we all just try and trust each other a bit more. I am sure that most of us have been screwed over in the past by someone we trusted or maybe we were the betrayers, that's not the point of this little write up. I'm sure we all have good reason to be paranoid or suspicious of most people. That is part of the world we live in these days and in one way or another we are all to blame, but that's a different book. Here I want to put forth some thoughts of my own on the subject of trust and it's role in relationships.
One of my previous coworkers has had very bad luck with his two long term girlfriends. The first dumped him on his birthday and the second (which is almost a horror story to me) dumped him the day before his birthday by coming out of the closet to him. Now some people would have turned into horrible misogynists after such events (I know one of my old friends from back home did after only one really bad relationship). But since then he has been dating a very nice woman and they seem to be in what most people would call 'love'. Now he admits that he is a very jealous and suspicious person with regards to his current relationship and I can't say I blame him. But the defining difference with his current girlfriend is honesty. He and his girlfriend are almost perfectly honest with each other and I am sure that has helped their relationship considerable.
When you and your significant other are honest with each other (at least as any two people can be honest with each other) this has a rather wondrous effect on the relationship. Now let us assume for the purposes of this little statement that both parties involved are 'reasonable' people. That means Typhus, shut you whore mouth for 5 minutes I realize these are hypothetical conditions here. If two reasonable people are honest with each other a likely conclusion that both of them will reach at a certain point is that there is an unspoken understanding. That is, if one of the involved parties doesn't wish to talk about something, then the other party is likely to assume that there is a good reason for this. This is one of the principles of trust.
Unfortunately this thought process is often perverted by the person that is hiding something, temporary as it may be, into thinking that not telling the truth in a potentially harmful situation is for the benefit of the unknowing party. This is bullshit, plain and simple. What you don't know can and often will hurt you and likely those around you a great deal. Example being a server I work with. A series of events that I won't get into lead to a mate of her boyfriend feeling her up, and another of his mate's seeing her leave the room. Basically she was against telling him what had happened in an attempt to stop him from hurting the offending friend. Every guy that was told this basically said to just tell her boyfriend, she was not really at fault and most guys knew they would rather be told the truth by their significant other than one of their mates, or someone else.
I apologize for this getting a bit round about, but really the point is this. Once trust is established it can cover a lot of areas, but even the smallest betrayal can shatter it like a glass snowflake.
Now I am not going to sit here and ignorantly suggest that we all just try and trust each other a bit more. I am sure that most of us have been screwed over in the past by someone we trusted or maybe we were the betrayers, that's not the point of this little write up. I'm sure we all have good reason to be paranoid or suspicious of most people. That is part of the world we live in these days and in one way or another we are all to blame, but that's a different book. Here I want to put forth some thoughts of my own on the subject of trust and it's role in relationships.
One of my previous coworkers has had very bad luck with his two long term girlfriends. The first dumped him on his birthday and the second (which is almost a horror story to me) dumped him the day before his birthday by coming out of the closet to him. Now some people would have turned into horrible misogynists after such events (I know one of my old friends from back home did after only one really bad relationship). But since then he has been dating a very nice woman and they seem to be in what most people would call 'love'. Now he admits that he is a very jealous and suspicious person with regards to his current relationship and I can't say I blame him. But the defining difference with his current girlfriend is honesty. He and his girlfriend are almost perfectly honest with each other and I am sure that has helped their relationship considerable.
When you and your significant other are honest with each other (at least as any two people can be honest with each other) this has a rather wondrous effect on the relationship. Now let us assume for the purposes of this little statement that both parties involved are 'reasonable' people. That means Typhus, shut you whore mouth for 5 minutes I realize these are hypothetical conditions here. If two reasonable people are honest with each other a likely conclusion that both of them will reach at a certain point is that there is an unspoken understanding. That is, if one of the involved parties doesn't wish to talk about something, then the other party is likely to assume that there is a good reason for this. This is one of the principles of trust.
Unfortunately this thought process is often perverted by the person that is hiding something, temporary as it may be, into thinking that not telling the truth in a potentially harmful situation is for the benefit of the unknowing party. This is bullshit, plain and simple. What you don't know can and often will hurt you and likely those around you a great deal. Example being a server I work with. A series of events that I won't get into lead to a mate of her boyfriend feeling her up, and another of his mate's seeing her leave the room. Basically she was against telling him what had happened in an attempt to stop him from hurting the offending friend. Every guy that was told this basically said to just tell her boyfriend, she was not really at fault and most guys knew they would rather be told the truth by their significant other than one of their mates, or someone else.
I apologize for this getting a bit round about, but really the point is this. Once trust is established it can cover a lot of areas, but even the smallest betrayal can shatter it like a glass snowflake.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Shopping Made Better?
Gods yes there is a way to go out and enjoy the mortified faces of the people you pass at the market aisles. Go out and find a shirt that has the phrase "You Made Baby Hitler Cry!" with a picture of a baby like Hitler holding a teddy bear and shedding a tear and wear it out for kicks. Old ladies will look upon you with icy stares of cold death wishing they were 50 years younger so they could kick your punk ass.
Shameless promotion post? Why yes ... yes it is.
Shameless promotion post? Why yes ... yes it is.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Racism or Opportunity
Let's take a moment to go back to the previous post and expand a little on the idea of racism a little bit and some of what it is and what people do. Obviously Racism is one person or persons who hate an entire group of people based on racial qualities such as skin color, eyes, or what have you. The KKK is a perfect example of such a thing as it's pretty damn close to an example that I can think of. There's also the World War 2 Nazis and their idea of white power but the fact they never ever started out that way give me cause to call them progressive racists [i.e. they were normal people manipulated by their leader into becomming what they did].
Now I'm in the belief that racism in this day and age isn't alright, we're a growing world economy, world relationships and all that jazz and the rest of the world could potentially be at your doorstep. I don't care about how other people feel about racism, it's just my take on it really as I'd rather not have the Chinese Mafia in my kitchen at breakfast time. That's just bloody awkward.
But I believe that some people take the idea of racism too far and apply it to where they can benefit from it. I'm talking about the working world where people can apply for jobs they can't do, not get hired, then take a business to court because of "Racial Profiling". I believe that to just be unfair to people who actually went to school to get that particular job only to have it ripped away because some bastard that has no idea what the job is thinks he can get money out of the situation for "Racial Profiling". Now I'm not saying that this kind of thing doesn't happen once in a while where some one will decide that some race of people do this kind of thing most often so they discriminate against them but when someone honestly CAN'T do the the job that they're applying for I believe it's within ALL legal rights to decline to hire them. Don't go out and take away someone's job simply because you can't do it, go to school and get the skills needed to take someone's job away because you're better at it then they are.
On a similar train of thought I'd like to say that all the people that [in seriousness not joking as I've met many people who do this jokingly] say that "It's because I'm black [Japanese, Chinese, whatever] isn't it?" whenever a comment is made that they don't like ... get a g'damn sense of humor. Not everything has to be racist unless you make it and it you make it that way then of course we're not going to like you because you're being an ass. Many times have there been people who've called me a racist only to have me prove them wrong time and again. I've had the opportunity to know several cool people that were from all sorts of places, be they black, Chinese, Swiss, and so on and so forth and to the people I don't like I have to say that I dislike you for the lack of respect you've shown me. My own little guage goes like this:
If we both show respect to each other we're cool, no problems. If you don't show respect to me then hey that's not my fault and I don't have to respect you back because there's no point.
It's simple and it works on individual people, not a group, so each reaction is different for each person depending on the degree of respect. So next time you call me a racist be prepared to have yourself labeled as one instead.
Now I'm in the belief that racism in this day and age isn't alright, we're a growing world economy, world relationships and all that jazz and the rest of the world could potentially be at your doorstep. I don't care about how other people feel about racism, it's just my take on it really as I'd rather not have the Chinese Mafia in my kitchen at breakfast time. That's just bloody awkward.
But I believe that some people take the idea of racism too far and apply it to where they can benefit from it. I'm talking about the working world where people can apply for jobs they can't do, not get hired, then take a business to court because of "Racial Profiling". I believe that to just be unfair to people who actually went to school to get that particular job only to have it ripped away because some bastard that has no idea what the job is thinks he can get money out of the situation for "Racial Profiling". Now I'm not saying that this kind of thing doesn't happen once in a while where some one will decide that some race of people do this kind of thing most often so they discriminate against them but when someone honestly CAN'T do the the job that they're applying for I believe it's within ALL legal rights to decline to hire them. Don't go out and take away someone's job simply because you can't do it, go to school and get the skills needed to take someone's job away because you're better at it then they are.
On a similar train of thought I'd like to say that all the people that [in seriousness not joking as I've met many people who do this jokingly] say that "It's because I'm black [Japanese, Chinese, whatever] isn't it?" whenever a comment is made that they don't like ... get a g'damn sense of humor. Not everything has to be racist unless you make it and it you make it that way then of course we're not going to like you because you're being an ass. Many times have there been people who've called me a racist only to have me prove them wrong time and again. I've had the opportunity to know several cool people that were from all sorts of places, be they black, Chinese, Swiss, and so on and so forth and to the people I don't like I have to say that I dislike you for the lack of respect you've shown me. My own little guage goes like this:
If we both show respect to each other we're cool, no problems. If you don't show respect to me then hey that's not my fault and I don't have to respect you back because there's no point.
It's simple and it works on individual people, not a group, so each reaction is different for each person depending on the degree of respect. So next time you call me a racist be prepared to have yourself labeled as one instead.
Yelling From the Mountain Top: Tolerance and Ignorance
Those that know me know the way I feel about other people and their beliefs. For those that may read this and don't here is the basic summary, I don't care what you believe in, I don't care what you do do in your spare time, I don't even how you practice either of the above, so long as you are not trying to force it down my throat.
To me this seems very simple and practical, some may call this a position of ignorance. That I am refusing to look at anything that doesn't affect me, but the fact is that I take this attitude because to me it is a position of tolerance. For the record I would like to state that in many senses of the word I am a racist (aside from the fact I am in fact white, see Urban Dictionary). I do not however feel any particular need to respect a person of any given ethnicity anymore than a person of any other ethnicity. I am a firm believer in personal merit and personal responsibility. (More on those later)
I am not perfect by even the most delusion, sanity depraved imaginings of the concept, even using regular human behavior as a standard, I come no where close (First class ticket to Hell bought and paid for). So basically who the fuck am I to judge what other people do with themselves.
I personally do no believe in any form of religion or worship. I include all forms because I may miss a few if I get too specific and I would hate to leave anyone out. I have nothing against faith, hope and all those other qualities that religions generally seek to inspire (and in a few isolated incidents they actually come close) but organized religion is crap in my opinion, and any really good intentions have long since been lost to the course of time in the storm battered ocean of human nature. But enough of that, this is another rant in and of itself.
Then there is sex. I am a firm believer in the theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics and in that theme I also believe that whatever a person may want to do with themselves (or other consenting individuals) in their own space and time is entirely their own damn business. Who am I to judge or dictate how a person conducts themselves in private (used in it's loosest meaning here). Who are we as a group to judge anyone in such a manner. This is of course excluding illegal acts as they are most likely violating the primary rule of forcing one's beliefs or practices on another. If I have to explain what sort of things qualify then you deserve to be smacked brutally around a cave with a baseball bat made out of frozen hate.
Back to the subject of racism. The idea of racism is the idea of hating another person based on their race (Shocking revelation I know). To me this is all well and good but in this day and age it is more a rationalization (and a lame one at that) more than anything, to the point it is impossible to make even the most accurate observations without being labeled a racist. If you are still reading at this point then you either; understand where I am coming from or have your email windows open and are getting ready to start flooding me with emails will never read. Either way My point is that assholes are assholes regardless of the color of their skin and Ignorance is like a bullet, as in it does more harm than good.
More rants, when I have the time and booze to write them.
To me this seems very simple and practical, some may call this a position of ignorance. That I am refusing to look at anything that doesn't affect me, but the fact is that I take this attitude because to me it is a position of tolerance. For the record I would like to state that in many senses of the word I am a racist (aside from the fact I am in fact white, see Urban Dictionary). I do not however feel any particular need to respect a person of any given ethnicity anymore than a person of any other ethnicity. I am a firm believer in personal merit and personal responsibility. (More on those later)
I am not perfect by even the most delusion, sanity depraved imaginings of the concept, even using regular human behavior as a standard, I come no where close (First class ticket to Hell bought and paid for). So basically who the fuck am I to judge what other people do with themselves.
I personally do no believe in any form of religion or worship. I include all forms because I may miss a few if I get too specific and I would hate to leave anyone out. I have nothing against faith, hope and all those other qualities that religions generally seek to inspire (and in a few isolated incidents they actually come close) but organized religion is crap in my opinion, and any really good intentions have long since been lost to the course of time in the storm battered ocean of human nature. But enough of that, this is another rant in and of itself.
Then there is sex. I am a firm believer in the theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics and in that theme I also believe that whatever a person may want to do with themselves (or other consenting individuals) in their own space and time is entirely their own damn business. Who am I to judge or dictate how a person conducts themselves in private (used in it's loosest meaning here). Who are we as a group to judge anyone in such a manner. This is of course excluding illegal acts as they are most likely violating the primary rule of forcing one's beliefs or practices on another. If I have to explain what sort of things qualify then you deserve to be smacked brutally around a cave with a baseball bat made out of frozen hate.
Back to the subject of racism. The idea of racism is the idea of hating another person based on their race (Shocking revelation I know). To me this is all well and good but in this day and age it is more a rationalization (and a lame one at that) more than anything, to the point it is impossible to make even the most accurate observations without being labeled a racist. If you are still reading at this point then you either; understand where I am coming from or have your email windows open and are getting ready to start flooding me with emails will never read. Either way My point is that assholes are assholes regardless of the color of their skin and Ignorance is like a bullet, as in it does more harm than good.
More rants, when I have the time and booze to write them.
The Decline of Radio
I'm not sure when the decline of tasteful radio actually began, wether it was the increase of audio commercials, pop culture, or when rap went bad. The point is that if you were to turn on the radio on an average day [AM and FM stations, not this funky satellite radio fancy shmancy shit people get these days] most of it's either latino music [which for the most part isn't too bad] or C-rap [if you don't understand what that is I feel sorry for you intellectually]. Now I'm not saying that all rap is bad or that latino music is bad but the majority of shit they put on the radio combined with pop music [a la Disney 2nd gen pop stars] is utter shit. Hell the Brits have pop music that puts us to shame and their music videos are done about 10 times better with less of the ass and chests hanging out [a little thing they have called class ladies and gentlemen].
That's one of the problems I have with rap in of it's general structure for the most part. Half of it objectifies women [the other half is the opposite], half of it is a false idea of what it is to be "Gangster" or "Ghetto" [the other half the opposite which is good] and half of it is about drugs [the other half yet again ... is the opposite]. But the mainstream videos I've seen are mainly the bad half of rap where it's all these scantily clad women, guys with guns, and lots of money from selling drugs and whatever else. I have to say I love the people that wear baggy pants and think they're the shit and ghetto because they're really just posers. People in the ghetto don't wear their pants under their ass or wear baggy pants for that matter. They wear mostly form fitting pants that are held up with a belt in the right place because god knows when you may have to run for your live or from the cops. I think the C-rap came about from the Eminem era of it all and that better rap for the most part resides before that. And for gods sakes stop butchering old songs by stealing their beats, chorus, and singing over them in a lame ass attempt to be cool and retro ... it's horrible and does not do justice to the artists that made them.
Now ... pop culture may yet be one of the greatest declines of our social structure in the past 10 years. Mark the start around Brittany Spears and her horrible singing talents [and continue on with her ability to stay in the news ... wtf is up with that?] and bring it around to today. Most artists don't even sing any more they mostly lip sync and that's horrible. Why even make music if all you're going to do is go the way of wrestling and be fake? Stop bastardizing my music and make it or sod off and move aside for someone WITH talent you lackluster underage gits. And people wonder why we have a growing problem with pedophelia these days. Put younger kids on stage, dress them up to be older than they are, and present them with an extended [yet dumbed down] version of sex appeal and of course we're going to have a growing problem with it! Hell most parents will let their under age kids dress as sluts and pimps these days because if they buy them stuff it gets them to shut up [that's a whole other topic to rant about entirely]. I'm not enjoying the mockery of our musical industry with the crap they think is worth putting out to the unyielding masses. Form of expression maybe but not objectified cash cow, go start a strip club if that's what you're really after.
When I want good music these days I have to search overseas because music in the USA isn't even worth listening to any more. Hell MTV and MTV2 barely show a full hour of music videos and feature [scripted] reality television. Apparently if I want good music I'm not allowed to have it produced in the United States which to me is a pack of lies and at the same time a horrible, horrible truth that haunts me in my sleep. When the radio became nothing but pop music and rap I stopped listening to it, one or two stations remained true to the idea that there was other music out there but the Gods know that they're few and far between. When I'm allowed to even find symphonics on the air I'm relieved as the classics are still alive somewhere but sadly the old phrase "Rock is dead" holds it's icy grip on the US.
May the music industry realize it's folly and go back to being tasteful again before they uncover the secret truths that they've become a stagnant breeding ground for implying that killing for money and sex is fine and that under aged artists shouldn't be objectified like adults.
That's one of the problems I have with rap in of it's general structure for the most part. Half of it objectifies women [the other half is the opposite], half of it is a false idea of what it is to be "Gangster" or "Ghetto" [the other half the opposite which is good] and half of it is about drugs [the other half yet again ... is the opposite]. But the mainstream videos I've seen are mainly the bad half of rap where it's all these scantily clad women, guys with guns, and lots of money from selling drugs and whatever else. I have to say I love the people that wear baggy pants and think they're the shit and ghetto because they're really just posers. People in the ghetto don't wear their pants under their ass or wear baggy pants for that matter. They wear mostly form fitting pants that are held up with a belt in the right place because god knows when you may have to run for your live or from the cops. I think the C-rap came about from the Eminem era of it all and that better rap for the most part resides before that. And for gods sakes stop butchering old songs by stealing their beats, chorus, and singing over them in a lame ass attempt to be cool and retro ... it's horrible and does not do justice to the artists that made them.
Now ... pop culture may yet be one of the greatest declines of our social structure in the past 10 years. Mark the start around Brittany Spears and her horrible singing talents [and continue on with her ability to stay in the news ... wtf is up with that?] and bring it around to today. Most artists don't even sing any more they mostly lip sync and that's horrible. Why even make music if all you're going to do is go the way of wrestling and be fake? Stop bastardizing my music and make it or sod off and move aside for someone WITH talent you lackluster underage gits. And people wonder why we have a growing problem with pedophelia these days. Put younger kids on stage, dress them up to be older than they are, and present them with an extended [yet dumbed down] version of sex appeal and of course we're going to have a growing problem with it! Hell most parents will let their under age kids dress as sluts and pimps these days because if they buy them stuff it gets them to shut up [that's a whole other topic to rant about entirely]. I'm not enjoying the mockery of our musical industry with the crap they think is worth putting out to the unyielding masses. Form of expression maybe but not objectified cash cow, go start a strip club if that's what you're really after.
When I want good music these days I have to search overseas because music in the USA isn't even worth listening to any more. Hell MTV and MTV2 barely show a full hour of music videos and feature [scripted] reality television. Apparently if I want good music I'm not allowed to have it produced in the United States which to me is a pack of lies and at the same time a horrible, horrible truth that haunts me in my sleep. When the radio became nothing but pop music and rap I stopped listening to it, one or two stations remained true to the idea that there was other music out there but the Gods know that they're few and far between. When I'm allowed to even find symphonics on the air I'm relieved as the classics are still alive somewhere but sadly the old phrase "Rock is dead" holds it's icy grip on the US.
May the music industry realize it's folly and go back to being tasteful again before they uncover the secret truths that they've become a stagnant breeding ground for implying that killing for money and sex is fine and that under aged artists shouldn't be objectified like adults.
I hate Twilight and you should too
I'd like to take a minute to talk about something this is, disturbingly, very important. That's right, I want to talk about Twilight. Beating a dead horse? Certainly, but I still see people buying this abortion of literature every day. Good, decent people who don't know any better. They can't know how bad what they're picking up is. (Without say 3-4 minutes of solid research but this is America damn it! No one will do that.) Also, I want to be very clear, we're not going to talk about the movie. I deal with a lot of Twilight fans and not a one can defend the movie or its “acting.” That waste of several hours isn't worth talking about.
Before anyone jumps down my throat (all... one of our readers) I did read the books. All of them. Shit I even paid for Breaking Dawn since I wanted to read it and didn't feel like waiting the week before I could borrow the book from Borders to read it. I read them cover to cover. The first three I read in the span of two days (right before the midnight release party) and the fourth a few days later. And I did go to see the movie (On reflection the fact that I paid more for popcorn and a coke isn't so much of an insult in this case). I sat through the entire thing and laughed pretty hard at some of the “acting.” I've been in the the Twilight trenches, so if anyone can talk about these books, it's me.
I was going to talk about each book in turn... but I only own a copy of Breaking Dawn (somewhere... maybe... I may have set it aflame). I don't feel right talking about specifics without reference materials on hand so I'm just going to speak of generalities. They're all poorly written. Breaking Dawn especially seems like it was pushed out the door and didn't get enough attention from an editor. Hell I bet she only wrote maybe 3 drafts. Sure, they're technically written for teenagers, so maybe demanding that they be quality literature is missing the point. But on the other hand, Fuck You! Saying that you don't need to have high quality or use your full vocabulary because you're writing for teens is bullshit. If you were trying to write for ten year olds, maybe. Maybe. But on the other hand, they might read that at a young age and think that it's how books are meant to be written, how literature is supposed to work, AND THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
So it's poorly written, that can be forgiven if it has a great story right? In short, no. Because it doesn't have a great story. It has a sappy bullshit story that is drawn out and shallow. My co-workers think it's fine that the main character is incredibly shallow because, hey, she's a teenage girl, they're all shallow right? Yeah and fuck you too. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager, not everyone is shallow. Stupid, yes, ignorant, definitely, but shallow? I don't believe that. What I do believe is that the main character is just a shitty way for the author to try and feel young again, like a crappy fanfiction self-insert. What I do believe is that the only characters with any depth are those one the sidelines who are almost unrelated to the story and who simply have depth because their motivations aren't explored by Meyer and thus we can come up with our own ideas about them.
But I want to make a point about our friend hindsight... because... I can honestly say that after reading books three and four of the series (Eclipse and Breaking Dawn respectively) that books one and two aren't THAT bad. That really says more about the former two than it does the latter. This is particularly true of Breaking Dawn. I could spoil it, but that's been done enough. You want to know about the horrific Dhampire baby, the craptastic wedding, and the rape-filled honeymoon? Go somewhere else. I recommend Head Trip (http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20080915.html) Sure it's a comic, it's also completely accurate. A co-worker of mine read Breaking Dawn and we had a great conversation about how horrible it was. I can sum it up with one sentence: “You really shouldn't have read that (Breaking Dawn) so you could at least have remembered the other three books fondly.” And that's the truth. They're all crap, but in comparison to Breaking Dawn the rest is actually readable if not particularly enjoyable.
Side Note: Stephany Meyer is so offensive to my sensibilities that she makes me physically ill. I'm not talking about the Mormon crap. Well, wait, YES I AM! I read four books and not once was there a single obscenity. What the fuck? I'm sorry, was the main character just cornered by several drunken men who intended to rape and (hopefully) kill her? Yes, and her reaction was probably “Holy Crow.” At least the bitch didn't say “Holy Cow,” which is a total mockery of the Hindus and... that's another rant in an of itself. Later. I suppose “Holy Crow” mocks a pagan diety or the druids but I couldn't care less about the pagans or the wiccans. All of that aside, what really gets my goat is that the author has not read any other Vampire novels. None. She hasn't even read Stoker's Dracula. When someone told me this I didn't want to believe it although having read the books it doesn't surprise me at all. But I figured they had to be kidding me. How can you write about vampires and not have done some solid research and at least read Dracula? I can forgive not reading the more modern vampire books like all the Anne Rice shit but not reading Stoker? Come on. (http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20049578,00.html) There's the interview where she admitted she didn't read Dracula.
Although I suppose this explains why her “vampires” are so fucking stupid. Last I checked, in myth vampires were inhuman rape machines that drank blood. Even allowing for some of the shitty western conventions on Vampires that have changed over time and made the myths less interesting just throwing all the myths into the dust makes me alternatively sad and fucking PISSED! Oh, they don't die in the sunlight, they sparkle. I could cry. I really could. But can we talk about that for a minute? Please.
There are a whole bunch of myths about how vampires came to be, but the most common theme to my mind is “cursed by God Himself.” I like that. Cursed to become a soul-less beast what is literally a parasite, feeding on humans to survive. Unable to gain entrance to Heaven or Hell, forced to walk the earth until the end times. What kind of curse is it to fucking sparkle? What kind of God does this? Not mine! And unless I'm completely ass backwards essentially Meyer's “vampires” are immune to all the mythological ways to kill vampires... so why aren't they ruling humanity like gods amongst ants? Seriously, there is no answer here that fits. There is no way for humans to kill these vampires until the modern day (Nukes. They seem to be the only answer. Or 20mm Anti-material sniper rifles from several kilometers away so the vampire is completely unaware of the shot being fired and thus taken by surprise and unable to dodge.) And if we're honest if a “vampire” of her styling were to reveal itself in ancient times in all its sparkly goodness they would be worshiped as a God. Even with the blood sacrifice, it's not like that was uncommon in ancient times. It makes no sense and makes me angry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this, DON'T READ TWILIGHT! Just don't do it. It's not worth the hours of your life... in fact it's not worth anything.
Oh, one last note, Meyer's The Host is actually worse than Twilight. It made me vomit in a mixture of loathing and disgust. I actually express pity to those who pick this book up and buy it when I'm checking them out. I'm not joking. I almost wanted to kill myself while reading the Host. Then I got to the last page and re-read The Black Company. In fact, after reading Meyer's first person crapfests I'm typically unable to read anything in the first person perspective for weeks. This even includes the Dresden Files.
Before anyone jumps down my throat (all... one of our readers) I did read the books. All of them. Shit I even paid for Breaking Dawn since I wanted to read it and didn't feel like waiting the week before I could borrow the book from Borders to read it. I read them cover to cover. The first three I read in the span of two days (right before the midnight release party) and the fourth a few days later. And I did go to see the movie (On reflection the fact that I paid more for popcorn and a coke isn't so much of an insult in this case). I sat through the entire thing and laughed pretty hard at some of the “acting.” I've been in the the Twilight trenches, so if anyone can talk about these books, it's me.
I was going to talk about each book in turn... but I only own a copy of Breaking Dawn (somewhere... maybe... I may have set it aflame). I don't feel right talking about specifics without reference materials on hand so I'm just going to speak of generalities. They're all poorly written. Breaking Dawn especially seems like it was pushed out the door and didn't get enough attention from an editor. Hell I bet she only wrote maybe 3 drafts. Sure, they're technically written for teenagers, so maybe demanding that they be quality literature is missing the point. But on the other hand, Fuck You! Saying that you don't need to have high quality or use your full vocabulary because you're writing for teens is bullshit. If you were trying to write for ten year olds, maybe. Maybe. But on the other hand, they might read that at a young age and think that it's how books are meant to be written, how literature is supposed to work, AND THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
So it's poorly written, that can be forgiven if it has a great story right? In short, no. Because it doesn't have a great story. It has a sappy bullshit story that is drawn out and shallow. My co-workers think it's fine that the main character is incredibly shallow because, hey, she's a teenage girl, they're all shallow right? Yeah and fuck you too. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager, not everyone is shallow. Stupid, yes, ignorant, definitely, but shallow? I don't believe that. What I do believe is that the main character is just a shitty way for the author to try and feel young again, like a crappy fanfiction self-insert. What I do believe is that the only characters with any depth are those one the sidelines who are almost unrelated to the story and who simply have depth because their motivations aren't explored by Meyer and thus we can come up with our own ideas about them.
But I want to make a point about our friend hindsight... because... I can honestly say that after reading books three and four of the series (Eclipse and Breaking Dawn respectively) that books one and two aren't THAT bad. That really says more about the former two than it does the latter. This is particularly true of Breaking Dawn. I could spoil it, but that's been done enough. You want to know about the horrific Dhampire baby, the craptastic wedding, and the rape-filled honeymoon? Go somewhere else. I recommend Head Trip (http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20080915.html) Sure it's a comic, it's also completely accurate. A co-worker of mine read Breaking Dawn and we had a great conversation about how horrible it was. I can sum it up with one sentence: “You really shouldn't have read that (Breaking Dawn) so you could at least have remembered the other three books fondly.” And that's the truth. They're all crap, but in comparison to Breaking Dawn the rest is actually readable if not particularly enjoyable.
Side Note: Stephany Meyer is so offensive to my sensibilities that she makes me physically ill. I'm not talking about the Mormon crap. Well, wait, YES I AM! I read four books and not once was there a single obscenity. What the fuck? I'm sorry, was the main character just cornered by several drunken men who intended to rape and (hopefully) kill her? Yes, and her reaction was probably “Holy Crow.” At least the bitch didn't say “Holy Cow,” which is a total mockery of the Hindus and... that's another rant in an of itself. Later. I suppose “Holy Crow” mocks a pagan diety or the druids but I couldn't care less about the pagans or the wiccans. All of that aside, what really gets my goat is that the author has not read any other Vampire novels. None. She hasn't even read Stoker's Dracula. When someone told me this I didn't want to believe it although having read the books it doesn't surprise me at all. But I figured they had to be kidding me. How can you write about vampires and not have done some solid research and at least read Dracula? I can forgive not reading the more modern vampire books like all the Anne Rice shit but not reading Stoker? Come on. (http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20049578,00.html) There's the interview where she admitted she didn't read Dracula.
Although I suppose this explains why her “vampires” are so fucking stupid. Last I checked, in myth vampires were inhuman rape machines that drank blood. Even allowing for some of the shitty western conventions on Vampires that have changed over time and made the myths less interesting just throwing all the myths into the dust makes me alternatively sad and fucking PISSED! Oh, they don't die in the sunlight, they sparkle. I could cry. I really could. But can we talk about that for a minute? Please.
There are a whole bunch of myths about how vampires came to be, but the most common theme to my mind is “cursed by God Himself.” I like that. Cursed to become a soul-less beast what is literally a parasite, feeding on humans to survive. Unable to gain entrance to Heaven or Hell, forced to walk the earth until the end times. What kind of curse is it to fucking sparkle? What kind of God does this? Not mine! And unless I'm completely ass backwards essentially Meyer's “vampires” are immune to all the mythological ways to kill vampires... so why aren't they ruling humanity like gods amongst ants? Seriously, there is no answer here that fits. There is no way for humans to kill these vampires until the modern day (Nukes. They seem to be the only answer. Or 20mm Anti-material sniper rifles from several kilometers away so the vampire is completely unaware of the shot being fired and thus taken by surprise and unable to dodge.) And if we're honest if a “vampire” of her styling were to reveal itself in ancient times in all its sparkly goodness they would be worshiped as a God. Even with the blood sacrifice, it's not like that was uncommon in ancient times. It makes no sense and makes me angry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this, DON'T READ TWILIGHT! Just don't do it. It's not worth the hours of your life... in fact it's not worth anything.
Oh, one last note, Meyer's The Host is actually worse than Twilight. It made me vomit in a mixture of loathing and disgust. I actually express pity to those who pick this book up and buy it when I'm checking them out. I'm not joking. I almost wanted to kill myself while reading the Host. Then I got to the last page and re-read The Black Company. In fact, after reading Meyer's first person crapfests I'm typically unable to read anything in the first person perspective for weeks. This even includes the Dresden Files.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sometimes I'm glad to be sober
I have spent the majority of this night as I spend most of my weekend nights. That is to say I sit in front of my computer and try and think of something productive to do. Seeing as the weather is finally deciding to shape up and realize what bleeding season it is I have the window open. I live on the 1st floor of a three story apartment building in a college neighborhood. It is Friday night (or Saturday morning if your want to get technical) and therefore I get the particular joy of listening to the sounds of drunken students wandering through the night.
Lots of Drunken students as it happens.
It is a question that has perplexed me for some time and will probably continue to perplex me for the majority of my life, since I am no longer a college student. Why do people feel the need to get so drunk that they are basically incoherent. I have nothing against booze, nothing at all, I like to go out and drink, but I can't understand the appeal of getting so drunk that you are unlikely to remember the majority of you previous evening. The way I see it, at that point you are probably going to do something that is best not remembered, or something you wish you could remember.
In the case of the former, the excess of booze is likely the cause anyway, and in the case of the latter the booze is the axe to the skull of what could have been an awesome story for many years to come.
Frankly I don't get the point of getting shitfaced. I just don't.
Lots of Drunken students as it happens.
It is a question that has perplexed me for some time and will probably continue to perplex me for the majority of my life, since I am no longer a college student. Why do people feel the need to get so drunk that they are basically incoherent. I have nothing against booze, nothing at all, I like to go out and drink, but I can't understand the appeal of getting so drunk that you are unlikely to remember the majority of you previous evening. The way I see it, at that point you are probably going to do something that is best not remembered, or something you wish you could remember.
In the case of the former, the excess of booze is likely the cause anyway, and in the case of the latter the booze is the axe to the skull of what could have been an awesome story for many years to come.
Frankly I don't get the point of getting shitfaced. I just don't.
Random Musing: Death
What if a doctor told you that you had some strange disease or maybe cancer and that you were going to die in say, three months, what would you do?
This came to me, like so many questions, as I lay in bed trying desperately to fall asleep. Now, I'm poor... I work in retail and live week to week. I can't quit my job and go on a three month bender. I'm pretty sure I'd want to but that's just not an option. Besides, I have a job to do. They hired me, I accept their paychecks, I'll be damned if I won't do my job to the best of my ability.
So what would I do? I'd do the professional fucking thing. Nothing. I'd go to work like usual, I'd come home and read too much, I'd play video games until like 3 am with people who annoy the shit out of me. Why would I do anything else? I think the only thing that would change is my smoking... basically I'd do it a lot more. Right about now I only smoke about one cigarette a day, just enough to give me a smoker's cough. If I only had three months to live and didn't have to worry about cancer? I'd kick my smoking into third gear, pack a day at least... so long as I can afford it.
That's the other part, my savings account? Fuck that. I have no future, I'm not going to retire. I'll spend money like it's going out of style, eat off the dollar menu so I can afford expensive scotch and new release movies, cds, games, what the fuck ever. If it's new and shiny and I've only got three months to enjoy new and shiny things then I want 'em!
But I'd still be professional at work. I'd still be cheerful to every customer, positive and happy to help. I wouldn't slack off or even tell my bosses or co-workers I was dying. Why should they care? I'd wait until the proverbial midnight hour before I told anyone and then I'd have as big a party as I could manage. Or at least a night out at some place with good food followed by many many hours of sitting around talking while I at least smoke. The only day I'd break from my typical professionalism is my last day, because it'd be wrong to not turn in my two week's notice. You can't just drop off the radar and stop showing up, that's not fair to your co-workers.
My last day? I'd want to have some fun. Come in dressed as normal, maybe with a tie because I want to go out in style. Then... put on my headset in one ear and my zune in the other. Loud. What if a customer has a question you ask, I hope they can out-yell Clawfinger. I think I'd hang out at the info desk (if you've been to Borders you know what I mean) with an ashtray in one hand and a cigarette in the other until security or (more likely) the police made me leave. Just relax, smoke, drink from a flask bought just for the occasion. I think it'd be a pretty fun day until the fines and the being escorted out part.
'cause you know I wouldn't die that day. I'd die in like half a week after the consequences of my last day at least started to catch up with me.
This came to me, like so many questions, as I lay in bed trying desperately to fall asleep. Now, I'm poor... I work in retail and live week to week. I can't quit my job and go on a three month bender. I'm pretty sure I'd want to but that's just not an option. Besides, I have a job to do. They hired me, I accept their paychecks, I'll be damned if I won't do my job to the best of my ability.
So what would I do? I'd do the professional fucking thing. Nothing. I'd go to work like usual, I'd come home and read too much, I'd play video games until like 3 am with people who annoy the shit out of me. Why would I do anything else? I think the only thing that would change is my smoking... basically I'd do it a lot more. Right about now I only smoke about one cigarette a day, just enough to give me a smoker's cough. If I only had three months to live and didn't have to worry about cancer? I'd kick my smoking into third gear, pack a day at least... so long as I can afford it.
That's the other part, my savings account? Fuck that. I have no future, I'm not going to retire. I'll spend money like it's going out of style, eat off the dollar menu so I can afford expensive scotch and new release movies, cds, games, what the fuck ever. If it's new and shiny and I've only got three months to enjoy new and shiny things then I want 'em!
But I'd still be professional at work. I'd still be cheerful to every customer, positive and happy to help. I wouldn't slack off or even tell my bosses or co-workers I was dying. Why should they care? I'd wait until the proverbial midnight hour before I told anyone and then I'd have as big a party as I could manage. Or at least a night out at some place with good food followed by many many hours of sitting around talking while I at least smoke. The only day I'd break from my typical professionalism is my last day, because it'd be wrong to not turn in my two week's notice. You can't just drop off the radar and stop showing up, that's not fair to your co-workers.
My last day? I'd want to have some fun. Come in dressed as normal, maybe with a tie because I want to go out in style. Then... put on my headset in one ear and my zune in the other. Loud. What if a customer has a question you ask, I hope they can out-yell Clawfinger. I think I'd hang out at the info desk (if you've been to Borders you know what I mean) with an ashtray in one hand and a cigarette in the other until security or (more likely) the police made me leave. Just relax, smoke, drink from a flask bought just for the occasion. I think it'd be a pretty fun day until the fines and the being escorted out part.
'cause you know I wouldn't die that day. I'd die in like half a week after the consequences of my last day at least started to catch up with me.
In the Beginning
In the beginning there was an idea ... and that idea was to make a blog dedicated to who knows what. The council saw that it was good and made it true. Now ... the world may yet live in fear.
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